![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bitetoall136Title: Haunted Questions
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bite_to_all136
Genre: Angst; AU High school
Warnings: Abuse, mxm relationships
Rating: R
Pairings: Ruki/Kai, Aoi/Kai
Summary: Everybody sees Yutaka as a straight A student with the perfect family life. However, what you see is not always perceived properly. Sometimes the kids who seem to have it all really have the most dysfunctional lives...
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, only the mediocre story line.
Previous Chapters: (Prologue) ( Chapter 1)( Chapter 2)( Chapter 3)( Chapter 4)( Chapter 5)( Chapter 6)( Chapter 7)( Chapter 8)( Chapter 9)( Chapter 10)(Chapter 11)(Chapter 12)(Chapter 13)(Chapter 14)
After running and swerving through traffic, Yuu and Akira finally made it to the hospital in one piece. They had practically made it in record time; making their way through the double set of heavy doors, allowing themselves to calm their heavy breathing and inhale the cool air-conditioned air of the arctic hospital.
Yuu was headed towards Yutaka’s room in a flash of an instant, not even stopping to ask the desk clerk for permission. Akira was right behind him, never losing his constant pace. As they were passing through the hall that contained the office rooms, which led to the ICU, Akira came to an abrupt stop. No longer hearing his heavy steps behind him, Yuu turned to find Akira stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so vulnerable; he wouldn’t budge.
It was as if he were in a trance.
Concernedly, Yuu began to walk up to Akira, “Aki?”
Still no response.
Yuu waved his hand in front of his face at a consistent, aggravating speed, only to get the reaction as if he were an invisible man. Yuu really didn’t have time for this. He brought his fist up and gave Akira a not so light punch on the shoulder.
That certainly got a reaction out of him.
“Ow! What the fuck Yuu?!”
“What do you mean by asking me what the fuck? You’re the one who has been staring off into space for the past 5 minutes!”
Akira’s usually tanned face began to receive a slight tint of pink, “Ohh...sorry it’s nothing…” He really had no idea what to tell Yuu; he needed to be left by himself for a few minutes.
“Why don’t you just go to Yutaka first, I’ll come visit in a while. It really sounds like he has some important things to discuss with you.”
Yuu gave a questioning look to Akira before asking if he was sure.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’ll give me some more time to catch my breath anyways.”
A low, sarcastic chuckle was followed by Akira’s statement. “You know Aki, if you stopped that nasty smoking habit, you probably wouldn’t have this problem! You’d have fresh lungs, just like me!”
“Yeahyeahyeah, you’re always lecturing me. Now get going, your Yuta-chan needs you.”
Akira put on a begrudgingly swift grin on his face, in turn causing Yuu to let out a little spout of laughter as he began to make his way towards Yutaka’s room. “You know you’re an asshole, right?”
“I know.”
It was only when Yuu completely disappeared that Akira brought his attention back to what had put him in his daze in the first place. Slowly his eyes ran back and forth over the oh so familiar plate on the door that had led to the office he had visited quite frequently. The letters were burning themselves into his brain once more; bringing up memories which he wished to keep locked up in the past.
Unwillingly, Akira brought his finger up to the bold letters and began tracing one after the other. He had just finished tracing the final letter when the door began opening at a delicate pace.
“Reita?”
***
Working in the children’s ward had always been hell for Ruki. It’s not that he didn’t like kids; quite the contrary actually. He adored watching kids run wild and free in the park; seeing them healthy. The children’s ward was the complete opposite of his lovely vision. All of these kids were either disabled in a horrid way, such as recently amputated limbs, or had terminal diseases, which would put them into the next life far too soon. Standing by and watching over these innocent faces saddened Ruki. There was nothing he could do but watch as they slowly began to digress.
Feeling a tug at the end of his shirt, Ruki looked down only to find a young boy staring at him with big and questioning eyes. He tried to quickly shed his depressing demeanor and replace it with a bright attitude.
“What is it Miya-chan?”
“You look sad today Ruki. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong Miya. Just lacking some sleep. Now go on and play with the others before you guys get called up for medicine.”
Who was Ruki kidding? Even a six year old cancer patient could see right through his dented armor.
He really couldn’t wrap his finger around Yutaka’s cold behavior towards him earlier. Nothing had gone wrong the prior night, so what was with the sudden counter clockwise attitude?
Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him?
Yutaka was obviously a very broken, sensitive person. It was going to take some time for all his wounds to heal; both physical and emotional. Ruki moving in on him like that while he was still in a very high state of confusion probably didn’t do anybody any good.
Really though, even if he hadn’t had wanted to, Ruki wouldn’t have been able to control his urge around Yutaka. He knew that he needed someone to be with him constantly and support him through every step of the way. Ruki also knew that the chances of Yutaka allowing that were very slim.
He had to somehow break that unruly wall and get Yutaka to open up to somebody.
Without it, he would end up just as shattered at Ruki had…
Heavy rain fell on the recently planted green grass; absorbing so quickly it looked as if it never even reached ground. The surrounding guests had dispersed shortly after the final words of the sermon, leaving Ruki and his mother to be the only ones left staring at the newly added tombstone.
Here lies Mr. Matsumoto, beloved husband and father.
May you rest in peace.
Ruki looked up from the ever grey plaque at the sound of a sniffle. His mother had begun crying, yet again. The rain began pouring harder and harder; a heavy thunderstorm was on its way.
Ruki gently wrapped his arm around his mothers shoulders, “Mom, we should get goin-“
“This is all your fault!” The words which fell from Ruki’s mothers’ mouth were spoken at such heinous and venomous volumes.
Ruki couldn’t believe it.
In the next instant he felt a cold and wet hand bring itself directly across his face, bringing a stinging sensation along with it.
He brought his hand up to his cheek and traced the outline of the brailed hand print.
“M-m-om?”
“I don’t ever want to see your face again. Come back to the house and I’ll have Daito do worse to you.”
All Ruki could do was stare in disbelief as his mother walked away.
As soon as she was no longer in sight, Ruki allowed those streams of tears he had been holding back to gracefully fall and mix with the constantly falling drops of rain.
Having one of his most repressed and agonizing memories brought to the forefront of his mind had Ruki’s eyes glazed over in a matter of seconds. Everything surrounding him seemed to be moving in slow motion.
“-Ru-u-ukiii!”
The incessant voice which belonged to Nao brought him out of that dark place. “Huh?”
“Seriously?! You have really got to start listening! I said its time for the lunch break, do you want to go get a bite to eat with Tora and me?”
At this moment, any opportunity to get out of this hospital sounded like a grand prize to Ruki.
“I would love to.”
***
As soon as Yuu walked through the door, Yutaka’s eyes were instantly on him.
“Yuta-chan?”
Yutaka never looked away, inviting Yuu closer with a small fraction of his usual beam.
Yuu sat on the edge of the bed and instinctively grabbed Yutaka’s hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the ridged edges of the scrapped up knuckles.
At this affectionate gesture Yutaka couldn’t help put let out a small sigh of relief.
“How are you feeling?”
All too honestly, Yutaka answered back with the one word sentence that had been swimming circles in his mind all night and day, “…lost”
Yuu knew from Yutaka’s short and solemn answer that he really was disconcerted. He stopped his movements with his hand, only to lie down and encompass Yutaka in a gentle and loving embrace.
Yutaka did the same in return, except he buried his face into that small section between Yuu’s hairline and shoulder blade.
No words were spoken for some minutes until Yuu voiced what he knew needed to be said, “Let it out…”
No explanation was needed. Yutaka knew exactly what Yuu wanted him to do.
He tightened his grip around Yuu, and began to reopen his flood gates.
Soon the tears were falling out at such a rapid speed that Yutaka thought he might drowned in them.
Yuu’s hand yet again began relaxing motions, however this time he had brought it up to Yutaka’s hair, only to begin running it through his knotted locks, “Shhh. Yuta, it’s going to be ok. I’ll be here for you.”
The crying went on for some minutes. Yuu didn’t voice a single word. Simply kept his tight hold on Yutaka, never once beginning to loosen it.
Once Yutaka let out every possible tear that had built up in his system, he began talking, “Yuu?”
“Hmm?”
“I-I need to tell you something…you’re probably not going to want to hear it…”
Yuu let out a loud exaggerated sigh, “Yu-ta-chaaan, I’ve told you before; you can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere. Your-“
“I kissed Ruki…”
All movements on Yuu’s behalf stopped. If it weren’t for his need to breath, Yutaka wouldn’t have even known he was still here.
Yutaka brought himself out of the comfortable position he had arranged himself in against Yuu’s body in order to get a full analysis of his reaction.
All he saw was full fledge rage burning in the crevices of his eyes….”Yuu?” No response. “Yuu? Please don’t do this to me…I-I was just so confused… I-I heard you, Yuu.”
The range that was burning in Yuu’s eyes was now replaced with the reflecting emotion being shown in Yutaka’s,”Wha-at?”
“I heard you…when you left. All I have to ask is why? Why would you leave me when I need you the most?” It turns out Yutaka was wrong; one could never use up all of their tears.
Yuu had no clue that Yutaka had interpreted his let go as a final farewell. That’s not what he wanted at all. He was trying to improve Yutaka’s life by letting him make his own decisions; not make it worse. “No,no,no! Yuta-chan, that’s not what I meant at all. I still want to be a part of your life…I still want to help you…I still want to be your best friend. It’s just, well, let’s just say I have done and said some things to you that I can never forgive myself for. It’s quite easy to see that I’m not the one chosen to make you happy…”
Yutaka couldn’t believe all the emotion and sympathy that filled Yuu’s voice. It was enough to shock him into not knowing what to say.
“Yuta-chan?”
“If it’s not you, then who is it Yuu?”
Putting on the most elegant smirk he could muster, Yuu leaned over and placed a warm kiss on Yutaka’s temple, “You shouldn’t have to think real hard about that one Yuta-chan. I’ll give you some help though, close your eyes. Now, I want you to think of absolutely nothing. In twenty seconds open them…the first name that pops into your head is your answer.”
Yutaka did just as he was told. As his eyes were closed he could hear Yuu rummaging through draws, slamming them shut again, after mumbling under his breath something about not being able to find something.
He was almost at the 20 second mark.
18…
19…
20.
When opening his eyes, Yutaka had to blink a couple times to clear the blurry image. When his vision finally settled, he realized he had a sheet of paper shoved in front of his face; a sheet which read:
“Ruki…”
“See Yuta-chan, told ya you wouldn’t have to think hard at all!”
Laughter began to fill the air; both Yuu’s deep, and smug one, along with Yutaka’s high pitched, almost kid like one.
“Yuu! You know that’s not how this thing actually works, right?”
“I know, but it sure as hell made it a hell of a lot easier on you, didn’t it?”
Looking at Yuu’s lit up expression; Yutaka could see nothing but pure honesty filling every one of his pores. The laughter died down, and his voice dropped back to a lower level. “Thank you, Yuu. I owe you so much.”
“Yuta-chan, you owe me nothing but your happiness.”
Yutaka finally let out his bright, true smile.
The one that had been hidden for quite some time.
Authors note: Welll, I sort of came out of my writers block >__< Sorry guys! With the holiday season, final exams, and the writers block, typing this chapter was almost near impossible.
I get out on break for the holiday season on the 21st..but I'll probably be busier than ever after that! So updates may start taking longer than usual! Please be patient with me!
hope you enjoyed!
btw, in case your confused...I had to change my name.
Author:
bite_to_all136Genre: Angst; AU High school
Warnings: Abuse, mxm relationships
Rating: R
Pairings: Ruki/Kai, Aoi/Kai
Summary: Everybody sees Yutaka as a straight A student with the perfect family life. However, what you see is not always perceived properly. Sometimes the kids who seem to have it all really have the most dysfunctional lives...
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, only the mediocre story line.
Previous Chapters: (Prologue) ( Chapter 1)( Chapter 2)( Chapter 3)( Chapter 4)( Chapter 5)( Chapter 6)( Chapter 7)( Chapter 8)( Chapter 9)( Chapter 10)(Chapter 11)(Chapter 12)(Chapter 13)(Chapter 14)
After running and swerving through traffic, Yuu and Akira finally made it to the hospital in one piece. They had practically made it in record time; making their way through the double set of heavy doors, allowing themselves to calm their heavy breathing and inhale the cool air-conditioned air of the arctic hospital.
Yuu was headed towards Yutaka’s room in a flash of an instant, not even stopping to ask the desk clerk for permission. Akira was right behind him, never losing his constant pace. As they were passing through the hall that contained the office rooms, which led to the ICU, Akira came to an abrupt stop. No longer hearing his heavy steps behind him, Yuu turned to find Akira stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so vulnerable; he wouldn’t budge.
It was as if he were in a trance.
Concernedly, Yuu began to walk up to Akira, “Aki?”
Still no response.
Yuu waved his hand in front of his face at a consistent, aggravating speed, only to get the reaction as if he were an invisible man. Yuu really didn’t have time for this. He brought his fist up and gave Akira a not so light punch on the shoulder.
That certainly got a reaction out of him.
“Ow! What the fuck Yuu?!”
“What do you mean by asking me what the fuck? You’re the one who has been staring off into space for the past 5 minutes!”
Akira’s usually tanned face began to receive a slight tint of pink, “Ohh...sorry it’s nothing…” He really had no idea what to tell Yuu; he needed to be left by himself for a few minutes.
“Why don’t you just go to Yutaka first, I’ll come visit in a while. It really sounds like he has some important things to discuss with you.”
Yuu gave a questioning look to Akira before asking if he was sure.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’ll give me some more time to catch my breath anyways.”
A low, sarcastic chuckle was followed by Akira’s statement. “You know Aki, if you stopped that nasty smoking habit, you probably wouldn’t have this problem! You’d have fresh lungs, just like me!”
“Yeahyeahyeah, you’re always lecturing me. Now get going, your Yuta-chan needs you.”
Akira put on a begrudgingly swift grin on his face, in turn causing Yuu to let out a little spout of laughter as he began to make his way towards Yutaka’s room. “You know you’re an asshole, right?”
“I know.”
It was only when Yuu completely disappeared that Akira brought his attention back to what had put him in his daze in the first place. Slowly his eyes ran back and forth over the oh so familiar plate on the door that had led to the office he had visited quite frequently. The letters were burning themselves into his brain once more; bringing up memories which he wished to keep locked up in the past.
Unwillingly, Akira brought his finger up to the bold letters and began tracing one after the other. He had just finished tracing the final letter when the door began opening at a delicate pace.
“Reita?”
***
Working in the children’s ward had always been hell for Ruki. It’s not that he didn’t like kids; quite the contrary actually. He adored watching kids run wild and free in the park; seeing them healthy. The children’s ward was the complete opposite of his lovely vision. All of these kids were either disabled in a horrid way, such as recently amputated limbs, or had terminal diseases, which would put them into the next life far too soon. Standing by and watching over these innocent faces saddened Ruki. There was nothing he could do but watch as they slowly began to digress.
Feeling a tug at the end of his shirt, Ruki looked down only to find a young boy staring at him with big and questioning eyes. He tried to quickly shed his depressing demeanor and replace it with a bright attitude.
“What is it Miya-chan?”
“You look sad today Ruki. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong Miya. Just lacking some sleep. Now go on and play with the others before you guys get called up for medicine.”
Who was Ruki kidding? Even a six year old cancer patient could see right through his dented armor.
He really couldn’t wrap his finger around Yutaka’s cold behavior towards him earlier. Nothing had gone wrong the prior night, so what was with the sudden counter clockwise attitude?
Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him?
Yutaka was obviously a very broken, sensitive person. It was going to take some time for all his wounds to heal; both physical and emotional. Ruki moving in on him like that while he was still in a very high state of confusion probably didn’t do anybody any good.
Really though, even if he hadn’t had wanted to, Ruki wouldn’t have been able to control his urge around Yutaka. He knew that he needed someone to be with him constantly and support him through every step of the way. Ruki also knew that the chances of Yutaka allowing that were very slim.
He had to somehow break that unruly wall and get Yutaka to open up to somebody.
Without it, he would end up just as shattered at Ruki had…
Heavy rain fell on the recently planted green grass; absorbing so quickly it looked as if it never even reached ground. The surrounding guests had dispersed shortly after the final words of the sermon, leaving Ruki and his mother to be the only ones left staring at the newly added tombstone.
Here lies Mr. Matsumoto, beloved husband and father.
May you rest in peace.
Ruki looked up from the ever grey plaque at the sound of a sniffle. His mother had begun crying, yet again. The rain began pouring harder and harder; a heavy thunderstorm was on its way.
Ruki gently wrapped his arm around his mothers shoulders, “Mom, we should get goin-“
“This is all your fault!” The words which fell from Ruki’s mothers’ mouth were spoken at such heinous and venomous volumes.
Ruki couldn’t believe it.
In the next instant he felt a cold and wet hand bring itself directly across his face, bringing a stinging sensation along with it.
He brought his hand up to his cheek and traced the outline of the brailed hand print.
“M-m-om?”
“I don’t ever want to see your face again. Come back to the house and I’ll have Daito do worse to you.”
All Ruki could do was stare in disbelief as his mother walked away.
As soon as she was no longer in sight, Ruki allowed those streams of tears he had been holding back to gracefully fall and mix with the constantly falling drops of rain.
Having one of his most repressed and agonizing memories brought to the forefront of his mind had Ruki’s eyes glazed over in a matter of seconds. Everything surrounding him seemed to be moving in slow motion.
“-Ru-u-ukiii!”
The incessant voice which belonged to Nao brought him out of that dark place. “Huh?”
“Seriously?! You have really got to start listening! I said its time for the lunch break, do you want to go get a bite to eat with Tora and me?”
At this moment, any opportunity to get out of this hospital sounded like a grand prize to Ruki.
“I would love to.”
***
As soon as Yuu walked through the door, Yutaka’s eyes were instantly on him.
“Yuta-chan?”
Yutaka never looked away, inviting Yuu closer with a small fraction of his usual beam.
Yuu sat on the edge of the bed and instinctively grabbed Yutaka’s hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the ridged edges of the scrapped up knuckles.
At this affectionate gesture Yutaka couldn’t help put let out a small sigh of relief.
“How are you feeling?”
All too honestly, Yutaka answered back with the one word sentence that had been swimming circles in his mind all night and day, “…lost”
Yuu knew from Yutaka’s short and solemn answer that he really was disconcerted. He stopped his movements with his hand, only to lie down and encompass Yutaka in a gentle and loving embrace.
Yutaka did the same in return, except he buried his face into that small section between Yuu’s hairline and shoulder blade.
No words were spoken for some minutes until Yuu voiced what he knew needed to be said, “Let it out…”
No explanation was needed. Yutaka knew exactly what Yuu wanted him to do.
He tightened his grip around Yuu, and began to reopen his flood gates.
Soon the tears were falling out at such a rapid speed that Yutaka thought he might drowned in them.
Yuu’s hand yet again began relaxing motions, however this time he had brought it up to Yutaka’s hair, only to begin running it through his knotted locks, “Shhh. Yuta, it’s going to be ok. I’ll be here for you.”
The crying went on for some minutes. Yuu didn’t voice a single word. Simply kept his tight hold on Yutaka, never once beginning to loosen it.
Once Yutaka let out every possible tear that had built up in his system, he began talking, “Yuu?”
“Hmm?”
“I-I need to tell you something…you’re probably not going to want to hear it…”
Yuu let out a loud exaggerated sigh, “Yu-ta-chaaan, I’ve told you before; you can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere. Your-“
“I kissed Ruki…”
All movements on Yuu’s behalf stopped. If it weren’t for his need to breath, Yutaka wouldn’t have even known he was still here.
Yutaka brought himself out of the comfortable position he had arranged himself in against Yuu’s body in order to get a full analysis of his reaction.
All he saw was full fledge rage burning in the crevices of his eyes….”Yuu?” No response. “Yuu? Please don’t do this to me…I-I was just so confused… I-I heard you, Yuu.”
The range that was burning in Yuu’s eyes was now replaced with the reflecting emotion being shown in Yutaka’s,”Wha-at?”
“I heard you…when you left. All I have to ask is why? Why would you leave me when I need you the most?” It turns out Yutaka was wrong; one could never use up all of their tears.
Yuu had no clue that Yutaka had interpreted his let go as a final farewell. That’s not what he wanted at all. He was trying to improve Yutaka’s life by letting him make his own decisions; not make it worse. “No,no,no! Yuta-chan, that’s not what I meant at all. I still want to be a part of your life…I still want to help you…I still want to be your best friend. It’s just, well, let’s just say I have done and said some things to you that I can never forgive myself for. It’s quite easy to see that I’m not the one chosen to make you happy…”
Yutaka couldn’t believe all the emotion and sympathy that filled Yuu’s voice. It was enough to shock him into not knowing what to say.
“Yuta-chan?”
“If it’s not you, then who is it Yuu?”
Putting on the most elegant smirk he could muster, Yuu leaned over and placed a warm kiss on Yutaka’s temple, “You shouldn’t have to think real hard about that one Yuta-chan. I’ll give you some help though, close your eyes. Now, I want you to think of absolutely nothing. In twenty seconds open them…the first name that pops into your head is your answer.”
Yutaka did just as he was told. As his eyes were closed he could hear Yuu rummaging through draws, slamming them shut again, after mumbling under his breath something about not being able to find something.
He was almost at the 20 second mark.
18…
19…
20.
When opening his eyes, Yutaka had to blink a couple times to clear the blurry image. When his vision finally settled, he realized he had a sheet of paper shoved in front of his face; a sheet which read:
“Ruki…”
“See Yuta-chan, told ya you wouldn’t have to think hard at all!”
Laughter began to fill the air; both Yuu’s deep, and smug one, along with Yutaka’s high pitched, almost kid like one.
“Yuu! You know that’s not how this thing actually works, right?”
“I know, but it sure as hell made it a hell of a lot easier on you, didn’t it?”
Looking at Yuu’s lit up expression; Yutaka could see nothing but pure honesty filling every one of his pores. The laughter died down, and his voice dropped back to a lower level. “Thank you, Yuu. I owe you so much.”
“Yuta-chan, you owe me nothing but your happiness.”
Yutaka finally let out his bright, true smile.
The one that had been hidden for quite some time.
Authors note: Welll, I sort of came out of my writers block >__< Sorry guys! With the holiday season, final exams, and the writers block, typing this chapter was almost near impossible.
I get out on break for the holiday season on the 21st..but I'll probably be busier than ever after that! So updates may start taking longer than usual! Please be patient with me!
hope you enjoyed!
btw, in case your confused...I had to change my name.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 07:33 pm (UTC)Ah, I love every chapter! The Aoi Kai conversion turned out perfectly, so bravo! I thought that the scene where Aoi wrote Ruki on the paper and tricked Kai was actually kind of adorable ^^ your Aoi just seems so.... Childishly sweet to me.
I loved it! Hope you can write more more soon!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 07:43 pm (UTC)Thank you! That part was killing me!
^__^ That's what I was going for with that :PP
Well, that's how I see Aoi..he can be serious when needed, but otherwise he'll just be a child at heart <33
I'm going to try and write more tonight, so soon maybe!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 07:48 pm (UTC)I thought that the Ruki background story easy really interesting.... I am super curious now, dang it!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 07:56 pm (UTC)I wrote that and was just like 0__o Where did my brain find this?!
That was a part I was really proud of though, I thought it came out quite nice, so AGAIN thank you!!
All will be revealed with time :)))