Unseen Solitaire - Chapter 9 Part 1
Jun. 13th, 2016 09:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bitetoall136Title: Unseen Solitaire
Chapter: 9/??
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bite_to_all136
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life, Comedy, Angst, Drama
Warnings: mxm relationships, inappropriate language, mental instability
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairings/Characters: Reita/Kai, Reita/Ruki, Uruha/OC, hinted Aoi/Hitsugi & Aoi/Ruki
Summary: Reita is an electrician who lives the life of a bachelor; not caring at all to settle down and put himself in a serious relationship. Will the enigmatic Kai be the one to change his bachelor ways?
Notes: A fill for the 'busted heater in the heart of winter ' square onkrasivayadusha's angst/fluff bingo card. :P
Previous Chapters: (Chapter 1)(Chapter 2)(Chapter 3)(Chapter 4)(Chapter 5)(Chapter 6)(Chapter 7)(Chapter 8)
Chapter 9 Part 1
“Rei, open this door, now!”
Uruha’s persistent knocking had been echoing across his flat for the past twenty minutes, but Reita couldn’t even bring himself to care. He remained on his couch, staring at the front door through a beer induced haze. He couldn’t even remember how many beers he had ingested at this point. Had it been five? Maybe seven or eight? Maybe he’d even downed something heavier than beer at one point without realizing it? He honestly couldn’t remember; he honestly didn’t care. Because right now, right at this very moment, all that mattered was numbing his heavy heart.
“Rei!”
He closed his eyes as Uruha continued to screech through the other side of the wooden door. Reita could understand why his friend sounded so worried. After all, it had been three days since he simply hadn’t shown up to work without a word. No calls, no texts, no nothing. Out of nowhere he had disappeared off the face of the planet, and it only made sense for the man he was quite possibly closest to on this planet to begin to panic.
However, the electrician just could not bring himself to care. He could hear the fear in Uruha’s voice, and that only made him close his eyes harder and cringe. It reminded him of Kai. Of just how scared, no, of just how traumatized he had looked as he cradled pieces of broken pottery and stray stems of Isola-chan to his chest; of just how devastated he sounded upon realizing Reita had broken his circle of trust. That was all Reita had been able to think about for the past three days, and each time he perfectly envisioned Kai’s face of beautiful innocence morphed into such a pitiful expression, he found himself reaching for another bottle.
“Fine! If you’re not inside I’m just going to assume you’re at Kai’s. I swear on my kids, if I get there and find you’ve been dodging my calls because you’ve been in bed with him, I’m going to kill you. I-”
By some miracle, Reita had managed to peel himself off the couch and stumble to the front door, opening it before his friend could finish his final sentence. Hearing Uruha speak of possibly dropping by Kai’s house unannounced sent a spike of fear all throughout Reita’s body. Kai hadn’t been stable when Reita had left his house after their break up three days ago, in fact, he’d been a down right mess. And he knew that if Uruha were to show up at the young online instructor’s house without a warning and begin questioning, Kai’s apparent break down would only worsen.
He couldn’t do that to him, he couldn’t hurt him more than he already had.
“Uru,” he spoke his first words out loud in three long days, his voice croaky and rough. He could barely even see the man in front of him through his double vision brought on by his excessive drinking. He wasn’t usually much of a drinker, but the pain brought upon by losing Kai called for a binge of some sorts. “W…what…what’re you doin’ here?”
No matter how disrupted his vision was from the alcohol, there was no way Reita could miss the way Uruha’s face dropped and his brows narrowed. He was pissed, and honestly, he had every right to be as such.
“What am I doing here?” Uruha finally stepped into Reita’s flat, his voice deep, low, and dangerous. He raised a hand, poking Reita in the chest roughly and sending the electrician stumbling a few paces back. “Are you serious? What am I doing here? It’s been three days, Rei. Three! Don’t you think I have every right to be at least a little damn worried when you disappear like that?”
“Kai-” Reita’s face morphed into slight bewilderment as the name of the man he knew he loved slipped past his lips. It had only been 72 hours since he’d last verbally announced the sweet name out loud, but the name already tasted foreign on his tongue. He’d gotten so used to saying it every day, multiple times a day. “Kai and I broke up…”
There was really no point in trying to dance around that fact, it was best just to get it out and in the open right now so he and Uruha could start on what Reita knew would be a long, obligatory talk.
His words seemed to have extinguished Uruha’s previous anger, his friend now sending him a sympathetic look. There had only been a few times since they’ve known each other that Uruha has sent him this particular look; the last time Reita remembered receiving it was the night he found out about his parents’ car accident. Knowing that Uruha believed his break up with Kai to be as painful as his parents’ deaths only caused his heart to sink even more, only for the fact that somewhere deep down he knew that his current heartbreak couldn’t even begin to match up to that of when he lost his parents. Because what he was feeling right now? It was the most painful experience of his life magnified by a thousand.
“Oh- I mean, fuck. What happened?” Uruha removed the finger that had been ebbed into Reita’s chest threateningly and instead encased his hand around the blond’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Reita scoffed and swatted away Uruha’s hand, his vision still seeing doubles as he stumbled back towards his couch and plopped down lifelessly. “No. Right now all I want to do is get a few more drinks in me so I can work up the courage to go to his house and get my damn birds back. It’s been three days, they’re probably starting to run low on food and water.”
In all reality, he really did want to talk to Uruha about Kai. Uruha was experienced, Uruha had many relationships in the past before he finally settled down with his wife and built a family with her. Uruha knew what to do when it came to break ups. Reita himself had seen the man he referred to as his boss rekindle with ex-girlfriends just days after they’d broken up, and he’d seen him completely break all ties with ex-partners he never wanted anything to do with again. He was a professional as far as Reita was concerned.
However, just the thought of having to say Kai’s name out loud again, of having to tell Uruha of how he’d gone behind his boyfriend’s back to find out information and how he’d not only broken Kai’s trust, but also his heart.
Reita couldn’t fathom doing that. It would feel like he was reliving the moment he destroyed such a fragile creature; reliving the moment he destroyed the man he realized he loved with all his heart too late in life.
“Are you insane?” Reita picked his head up just enough so he could see through his uncoordinated sight that Uruha was looking at him with a raised brow and a pinched expression. “Reita, there’s over a dozen beer cans on your floor, and I have a good feeling this is only today’s batch.” Uruha kicked a stray can across the floor. Reita wasn’t sure if it was to release some of his earlier anger or prove his point or maybe both. “I’ll go and get Oscar and Keiji for you. But when I get back? We’re having a long talk, understood?”
Reita sat up fast to protest, but the alcohol running through his body slowed his movements. Everything was spinning around him, and instead of reaching out for Uruha’s hand so he could pull him to a stop as originally intended, he grasped the sides of his head, groaning out in pain at the sudden throbbing that had taken over. “Uru- no..don’t-”
His pleads went unheard, however. Because he could hear Uruha walk back across his living room, hear him open the front door and mumble over his shoulder for Reita to stay right there, that he’d be back in a few.
The door opened and shut and then, aside from the thrumming in his ears, the room went back to being silent.
He tried to pick himself up so he could follow Uruha and prevent him from possibly making things worse, but the moment he stood on not so steady legs he was down and out, landing in a pile of scattered beer cans.
He cursed himself for drinking so excessively now, because he knew that attempting to kill his own pain was now only going to further Kai’s.
“Uru!” he screamed sluggishly, even knowing that Uruha was already long gone and unable to hear him, “Please…don’t. Please…” his words began to fade as did his vision; the intoxication taking over and attempting to put him into a slumber.
But he couldn’t give up quite yet, he had to at least warn Kai of his unsuspecting, and very much unwanted at the moment, visitor.
Reaching into his pocket, Reita curled his fingers around his cell phone, barely able to even see the screen at this point. However, the small bit he could see caused him to freeze. Through the required lock screen pattern, he could see Kai’s brilliant smile. That brilliant, warm smile that introduced Reita to the world of the intense feeling that was love.
The smile that he had possibly shattered for good.
He tried his best to unlock the screen, but the alcohol was in full effect now. He could feel his entire body growing weak, his world darkening as he began to doze off. His cell phone slipped from his now limp grip and fell to the floor, allowing his last thought before he blacked out to be how disappointed he was in himself for not even being able to do this last thing for Kai.
Maybe he really wasn’t boyfriend material.
Maybe he really he didn’t deserve to love or be loved.
When his shielded eyes finally re-opened, it felt like hours had passed. One quick, blurry look at his phone allowed him to realize only a mere 20 minutes had gone by. Enough time for him to sleep off some of his intoxication, but not nearly enough to be able to state he was sober. The alcohol was still numbing down the intense ache he felt through every fiber of his being, but at least now he was able to stand and walk a semi-straight line.
He groaned and pressed his palms to his temples, trying to muffle the pounding going on in his head, only to be reminded of that night he had woken up at Kai’s kitchen table after a night of questions and shots.
He remembers walking through the sparsely lit house, finding Kai situated in his room. He remembers Kai sitting on his floor, having a conversation with his numerous sets of bamboo. He remembers watching Kai, realizing that this was going to be the man who changed his entire life. That night, he’d admitted to himself that he was attracted to the eccentric character, but somewhere deep inside of him Reita realized that accepting that attraction meant so much more, he just hadn’t been able to accept it at the time.
However, now he knew. Now he knew that accepting that attraction had meant accepting he wanted to try and form something with Kai he hadn’t ever before with anyone else. Accepting that attraction had been the first step to accepting the love he knew he would eventually feel for Kai.
And that, right now, was what was causing a great deal of Reita’s current pain. He and Kai had come such a long way since their first encounter. They’d grown not only as people, but as a couple as well, and for Kai to have ended everything between them on the very day Reita had finally found it in himself to profess to Kai exactly how he felt about him? It was an ache Reita knew he wouldn’t be able to recover from any time soon.
More than anything, he wished to speak to Kai. He wanted to talk things over, to work things out so they could go back to long fuck sessions all throughout the night, only to cuddle until Reita had to get up and get ready for work. He wanted to watch Kai as he sipped on tea and hummed happily with his laptop resting on his stomach, replying back to students emails and grading papers. Even just watching Kai wearing his oversized glasses as he got invested in his nature documentaries he had watched more than a handful of times was something Reita was missing dearly. He himself had been getting sick of watching the repeated documentaries, but never, not even once, had he started getting tired of watching Kai.
Every sound, every movement, every little quirk. He missed everything about Kai.
He was already this desperate, he already missed him this much, and it had only been three days. How the hell was he supposed to survive the rest of his life without him?
He knew they needed to try and talk, but at the same time, Reita was terrified of attempting to try and contact the young teacher. He’d seen firsthand how much their fight had affected Kai, and Reita cared for the other too much to ever wish to put him through that again. Kai was sensitive, Kai was fragile. At least, that’s what Reita told himself. Because using the excuse of not wanting to hurt Kai again saved him from any possible further heart break. Because if they never spoke again to try and work things through, then Reita never had to risk being rejected again.
Pressing his palms into his sockets, he groaned out loud before beginning to shuffle his way back over to his fridge. His mind was beginning to clear too much and he needed to start on his next round of binging in order to erase these thoughts from his mind just temporarily.
“Of fucking course,” he grumbled to an almost empty fridge. He swore he’d stocked up on enough booze to get lost in a drunken stupor for the next month, but seeing as the only thing left in his fridge right now were some condiments and some needed-to-be-tossed-a-week ago leftovers, it became apparent he’d been drinking much more than he’d originally thought.
An empty fridge wasn’t going to stop him, though. He was going to get rid of these taunting thoughts even if it meant breaking his three-day sanctioned solitude.
Slamming the fridge door shut, he shuffled across his flat and shrugged on a pair of shoes and a coat. He grabbed his keys, wallet, and cell phone, taking a quick glance at the electronic device. Uruha had already been gone close to half an hour by now and he still hadn’t received even a simple text from him. Reita thought nothing of it though. Uruha and Kai had gotten along quite well during their initial meeting, so maybe Uruha was being the amazing best friend he was and doing his best to try and talk Kai into forgiving Reita and giving him a second chance. Maybe Kai hadn’t had a complete break down upon Uruha’s arrival, maybe-
Reita stopped his thoughts right there, knowing amping himself up with the dangerous combination of hope and Kai’s possible further destruction would only set him up for more pain in the long run. He shoved his phone into his back pocket and slid out the front door, not knowing exactly where he wished to head to yet, but knowing he didn’t care as long as he could drown his sorrows in bittersweet liquid.
He set off down the sidewalk with slow strides, sober enough to know realize he shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car. With his hands shoved into his coat pockets, he passed by buildings, his mind a complete blur and not even fully registering that he was passing by buildings he had been in thousands of times. The local grocery store, Sun’s flower shop, even the place he had at one point considered his second home – Lotus. At least, the building that had been Lotus just a few mere months ago. It was now under new ownership and being transformed from a bar into some kind of Italian restaurant.
For what seemed like one of the rare few times in his life, Reita cursed living in such a small town. Because now that Lotus was gone it seemed he had no other options available to him to publicly fill his current need for alcohol. He’d just have to head further downtown to the one liquor store and stock up on enough booze to keep him in a coma like state until the ache of his breakup with Kai died down some.
Continuing down the sidewalk, he allowed his thoughts to wander. He thought of Kai. He thought of his smile and his laugh and his cute quirks. He thought of how Kai burrowed his knees to his chest and constantly tilted his head to the side in wonderment. He thought of how odd it felt to lay in the dark at night and not smell the sweet aroma of hibiscus and almond cream.
He spun his cell phone around in his coat pocket, contemplating maybe worsening the situation and actually calling or texting Kai. Because at this point even the fear of being rejected once more was nothing compared to not knowing how Kai was doing.
Reita was contemplating causing himself more heartache just to check on the well-being of Kai. He was risking Kai breaking his heart all over again just to ensure that Kai was taking care of himself. He was willing to take on all the pain in the world just to make sure Kai was at least eating and sleeping, and that right there made Reita realize he was so beyond in love with Kai that he didn’t even think a word existed to explain just how much he cared about him.
He paused in his steps, whipping out his cell phone and pulling up Kai’s number.
I know you’re mad at me. Hell, I know you probably hate me and want absolutely nothing to do with me ever again. But please, Kai. Please just message me and let me know you’re okay. I’m sorry for everything that happened. I miss you like crazy and I would do anything to have you back, but I won’t even ask that of you. I just want to know if you’re doing okay… - Reita
He stood in place for a few minutes after he sent the message, simply reading over his words and anxiously awaiting a reply he knew he wasn’t going to get. Once he’d hit the ten-minute mark, he decided to turn his phone off and put it away, but not before sending out one last message.
If you don’t reply to me by tomorrow I’m having food sent to your house. I don’t care how pissed you are at me; you still need to eat. – Reita
Once he was positive he’d gotten his point across, Reita began his descent down the sidewalk once more, hoping to clear his mind before he fogged it with liquor once more. However, he barely managed to take a single step before he halted to a stop, because standing in front of him holding grocery bags was a face he wasn’t all too familiar with, yet, at the moment, this particular face was offering him some form of relief.
“Hitsugi?” the pierced man’s name felt strange on his tongue, their meetings always having been short and sparse.
“Hey, Reita,” Hitsugi smiled sweetly, shuffling the weight of his grocery bags, “I would ask how you’re doing, but honestly? You don’t look all too great. You look…”
“Look what?” Reita encouraged the other to continue.
“You look like you could use someone to talk to.”
Reita laughed wryly, kicking a stray pebble on the side walk into the road, “What makes you say that?”
“Because,” Hitsugi took a long pause before continuing so softly Reita almost didn’t hear him, “You look exactly how I did a few years back when I lost someone very close to me…”
He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but at that moment Reita knew the web of mysteries and lies was about to unfold. Hitsugi would be the one the help him finish this never ending puzzle.
“Hey, Hitsugi? I think it’s about time I buy you that drink I promised you a while back…”
Hitsugi nodded.
They didn’t end up at a bar, but instead at Hitsugi’s home. It was a small, studio flat with not much decoration, but it was still very much well lived in. Magazines scattered across the coffee table adjacent to the overstuffed couch with an unbearable amount of pillows, there were clothes stacked upon the futon that laid just a few feet to the left of the couch, and on top on the pile of clothes laid a tabby cat curled into a ball.
Hitsugi’s home offered a very laid back atmosphere, and for the first time in three days Reita found himself able to close his eyes and slouch back, feeling a bit at peace. He listened to cabinet and the refrigerator doors open and shut as the pawn shop owner put away his groceries, and a few minutes later the clinking of two bottles was heard nearby.
When Reita opened his eyes he found the red haired man in front, holding a bottle of coke out to him. “I know you said you were meant to buy me a drink, but to be honest I’m not much of a drinker and you really don’t look like you can handle anything more. So, coke it is.”
Reita sat up a bit and accepted the bottle, popping the cap off of it and taking a sip before muttering a quick thanks. It had been a long while since he’d had something to drink that was this sweet and it almost felt like it physically hurt him as he swallowed the carbonated liquid because he knew it was something Kai would enjoy.
“So,” Hitsugi puffed out through a breath of air as he dropped down on the couch next to Reita and gathered a pillow, hugging it to his stomach as tongued one of the piercings decorating his bottom lip, “Are you just really, really upset about Aoi leaving, or did something else happen?”
Of course Hitsugi wouldn’t recognize what was going on with Reita right away. They were practically strangers and the only information the pierced man would have on Reita was what Aoi had possibly told him. But from the few short conversations Reita had in the past with Aoi about Hitsugi, it appeared that Hitsugi had been the one person Aoi had turned to in an attempt to break away from reality. And so Reita wouldn’t have been surprised if Aoi had never once mentioned his relationship with Kai to Hitsugi because it – it just hit too close to home.
“Um,” Reita cleared his throat, trying to think of a proper way to start this conversation so it would eventually travel into the right direction. “I guess you could say it’s a combination of things. Aoi leaving sucked majorly, yeah, but what sucks even more are the…relationship issues I’m having right now.”
“Relationship issues? What kinda relationship issues?”
“Um,” Reita thumbed at the cold coke bottle in his hand, playing with the condensation, “The kind where my boyfriend kind of dumped me?”
“Holy shit,” Hitsugi sprung up on the couch, eyed wide and mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. “Kai dumped you? Kai broke up with you?”
Ah, so apparently Aoi had mentioned Reita’s personal life to Hitsugi.
“Um, yeah. He kind of, well-” Got pissed at me for going behind his back and getting information about his past life from someone he once considered family, Reita thought to himself. Which, he realized, was exactly what he was doing all over again. But now he knew the only way to possibly fix things between him and Kai was the get the whole back story. And even if fixing things wasn’t possible, even if Kai never wanted anything to do with him again, then at least Reita’s curiosity would be sated and he would no longer wonder just what it was that came between him and Kai in the first place. “We had a misunderstanding and that misunderstanding kind of escalated into a fight, and well, now here we are...”
“Shit,” Hitsugi muttered while falling back against the couch, slouching even lower and running his fingers, which were decorated with an excessive amount of rings, through his hair, “That really sucks, man. From what Aoi was telling me, you and Kai seemed really happy together. I could actually see Aoi was feeling a bit relived, and that’s not something I’ve seen him allow himself since-” He paused midsentence, eyeing Reita out of his peripheral vision before taking a quick sip out of his bottle, “Anyway, can I ask what the fight was about?”
Reita sighed. Of course getting information out of Hitsugi wasn’t going to be as easy as he originally thought it was because it seemed everyone in this town was extremely tight lipped when it came to talking about anyone who was possibly involved with Ni~ya around the time of his death.
“I guess you can say the fight was about us not really…opening up to each other. I-” taking a deep breath, Reita licked his lips and took a sip of is coke before scooching up on the couch and placing his bottle on the messy coffee table, “Okay, to be completely honest? The fight was about Ni~ya...”
“Oh…”
“Yeah, oh…”
Reita could feel the tension in the air begin to gather as the silence dragged on, but, to his surprise, a few moments later Hitsugi sat up completely straight and chuckled a bit.
“So, I take it the reason why you seemed kinda happy to bump into me is because you figured I’d give you information you’ve been hassling Aoi to give you for the past few months?”
Guilt automatically began seeping in and Reita could feel himself shrinking by the minute. He wished he could just disappear and never have put himself in this awkward situation in the first place. “Well, kinda, yeah…”
“Hmm,” Hitsugi hummed, taking another swig of his bottle, “then I guess all I need to know is…just what exactly do you wanna know?”
Reita could tell by the boyish smile Hitsugi had spread across his lips that the sheer shock he was feeling at the moment was abundantly obvious on his features. Enlarged eyes, an open mouth, a bit pastier than usual. They were all sure signs of shock, and he was sure each sign he was experiencing were being expressed a bit more than obviously.
Hitsugi knocked his knee together with Reita’s and laughed lightly, and although a small smile was still gracing his features, Reita could tell it was a solemn laugh. “Reita, I’m not Aoi. If you ask me something directly, I’ll tell you. What happened, yeah, it sucked. It sucked a lot, but I’ve accepted it happened and…I just don’t mind talking about it anymore. So, go on, tell me. What exactly do you wanna know?”
“Everything,” Reita finally managed to spit out after a few moments of staring at Hitsugi in shock, “I want to know everything…”
By the time Reita found himself back outside and walking down the isolated sidewalk, his brain was clustered with information, both old and new, for him to process. Every step he took felt heavier than the next, and he was close to folding in on himself. Because Hitsugi had done exactly what he had asked of him – he had told him everything he wanted to know. And now Reita felt like the biggest ass alive.
He’d been such an outsider in this whole scenario, and bolting in and trying to demand answers from everyone made him seem not only obnoxious, but beyond insensitive as well. Kai, Aoi, Ruki, Hitsugi. They’d all lost someone close to them – Kai, a boyfriend. Aoi, a brother. Ruki, an ex who he never stopped caring for. And Hitsugi, a best friend since birth.
It’d been a little over six years since the four of the lost someone they cared about so deeply in such a vicious way, and instead of asking them how they were coping, all Reita had cared about was finding answers to appease his curiosity and further his relationship with Kai.
He felt like a selfish asshole, he felt like scum.
And even at this moment, even after finding out a young man’s life had been taken from him in such a brutal way, one of the only thoughts that Reita could fully process was how much he wanted to be with Kai. How much he wanted to hold him and reassure him. How much he wanted to apologize for demanding answers from him that were too painful to answer.
More than anything though, he wanted to make sure Kai was okay. Not because of their break up, but because of what he went through before they met. Everything made sense now. The locks on the door that led to the basement, Kai’s refusal to leave the house, and the explosive reaction he’d had from Reita bringing up Ni~ya out of the blue like that and demanding answers.
Kai had been there.
He had been there when the bullet was fired.
He had been there and watched as the life slowly faded from Ni~ya’s eyes and all went dark.
He’d experienced a tragedy that no one would ever wish upon another, and Reita couldn’t even begin to imagine just what it was Kai had gone through on that fearful night.
It made sense that he was scared senseless of the outside world, it made sense that he wanted to stay in his own protective bubble and hide away from everyone else.
Because anyone who had gone through what he had would react the same exact way he has.
More than ever, guilt was hitting Reita hard. He knew the reason Kai had looked so traumatized when mentioning Ni~ya’s name was because he had been. Mentioning the man who had been taken from this world far too early most likely made Kai relive the most traumatizing moment of his life all over again in just a few seconds time.
Reita would understand if Kai could never force himself to forgive him, because he knew if their positions had been switched, he would’ve never accepted an apology from Kai.
His mind had been so clustered with such heavy thoughts the entire walk that Reita didn’t even realize he had already stepped in front of the complex to his flat. He made his way up the stairs robotically and allowed himself into his home, lazily taking off his coat and boots before slumping down on his bed.
He stared up at the ceiling, still trying to process his thoughts. The entire time, however, he found himself thumbing his cell phone through his pants pocket, and eventually he just couldn’t take it anymore. He whipped his cell phone out, turned it on, and was automatically slammed with new messages. His heart jumped in his chest momentarily, his mind deceiving him for a moment into believing it was Kai who messaged him back.
But then he finally calmed down and realized it was Uruha who had texted him.
Reita had been so distracted with all these new discoveries that he had forgotten all about Uruha going to get Oscar and Keiji.
It wasn’t the man he wanted to see a text message from, but maybe Uruha happened to have an update on Kai as well.
Rei, I just got to Kai’s and I don’t want to freak you out, but…I can’t find Kai anywhere. I’m going to keep looking, though, it’s a big house, he could be anywhere. – Uruha
I found him on the back porch and it’s freezing out here and…fuck. I’m going to have to call an ambulance, he’s out cold… – Uruha
Reita slowly sat up in bed in complete disbelief, staring at the messages, reading them over and over again, refusing to register them properly. His hands were shaking, his chest was getting warm and his stomach was churning, verging on the point of wanting to vomit. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t even figure out how to properly react. He just sat there, finally finding it in him to open his voicemail and listen to the one message awaiting him.
“Reita, get your ass to Kai’s now. I don’t care how fucking drunk you are, call a cab if you have to get here, but get here. I know you, Rei. If you don’t get here right this moment, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life.”
That was all it took.
He dropped his phone onto his mattress, jumped up out of bed, and rushed out the door without bothering to grab his coat or even slip on his shoes.
Uruha’s voice mail was from ten minutes ago.
Kai’s place was twenty minutes away.
Reita planned to make it there in less than five.
***
Author's Note: Weeell, I know I promised a longer chapter. I know I said this would be the second to last chapter as well. But, with what happened in Orlando yesterday, it felt extremely disrespectful to go into the full details I had originally planned for this chapter. I did my best to touch very vaguely on Ni~ya's death, and I promise, next chapter I will explain things further and there will be some actual Reita and Kai interaction. I just felt the need to get this chapter out, even if it kind of is a filler. Buuut, you'll be happy to know I'm changing the amount of chapters, so who knows when this fic will actually end :P (probably 2032 with how slow I am with updates, tbh lol.) Hope ya'll enjoyed <33
Chapter: 9/??
Author:
bite_to_all136Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life, Comedy, Angst, Drama
Warnings: mxm relationships, inappropriate language, mental instability
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairings/Characters: Reita/Kai, Reita/Ruki, Uruha/OC, hinted Aoi/Hitsugi & Aoi/Ruki
Summary: Reita is an electrician who lives the life of a bachelor; not caring at all to settle down and put himself in a serious relationship. Will the enigmatic Kai be the one to change his bachelor ways?
Notes: A fill for the 'busted heater in the heart of winter ' square on
krasivayadusha's angst/fluff bingo card. :PPrevious Chapters: (Chapter 1)(Chapter 2)(Chapter 3)(Chapter 4)(Chapter 5)(Chapter 6)(Chapter 7)(Chapter 8)
“Rei, open this door, now!”
Uruha’s persistent knocking had been echoing across his flat for the past twenty minutes, but Reita couldn’t even bring himself to care. He remained on his couch, staring at the front door through a beer induced haze. He couldn’t even remember how many beers he had ingested at this point. Had it been five? Maybe seven or eight? Maybe he’d even downed something heavier than beer at one point without realizing it? He honestly couldn’t remember; he honestly didn’t care. Because right now, right at this very moment, all that mattered was numbing his heavy heart.
“Rei!”
He closed his eyes as Uruha continued to screech through the other side of the wooden door. Reita could understand why his friend sounded so worried. After all, it had been three days since he simply hadn’t shown up to work without a word. No calls, no texts, no nothing. Out of nowhere he had disappeared off the face of the planet, and it only made sense for the man he was quite possibly closest to on this planet to begin to panic.
However, the electrician just could not bring himself to care. He could hear the fear in Uruha’s voice, and that only made him close his eyes harder and cringe. It reminded him of Kai. Of just how scared, no, of just how traumatized he had looked as he cradled pieces of broken pottery and stray stems of Isola-chan to his chest; of just how devastated he sounded upon realizing Reita had broken his circle of trust. That was all Reita had been able to think about for the past three days, and each time he perfectly envisioned Kai’s face of beautiful innocence morphed into such a pitiful expression, he found himself reaching for another bottle.
“Fine! If you’re not inside I’m just going to assume you’re at Kai’s. I swear on my kids, if I get there and find you’ve been dodging my calls because you’ve been in bed with him, I’m going to kill you. I-”
By some miracle, Reita had managed to peel himself off the couch and stumble to the front door, opening it before his friend could finish his final sentence. Hearing Uruha speak of possibly dropping by Kai’s house unannounced sent a spike of fear all throughout Reita’s body. Kai hadn’t been stable when Reita had left his house after their break up three days ago, in fact, he’d been a down right mess. And he knew that if Uruha were to show up at the young online instructor’s house without a warning and begin questioning, Kai’s apparent break down would only worsen.
He couldn’t do that to him, he couldn’t hurt him more than he already had.
“Uru,” he spoke his first words out loud in three long days, his voice croaky and rough. He could barely even see the man in front of him through his double vision brought on by his excessive drinking. He wasn’t usually much of a drinker, but the pain brought upon by losing Kai called for a binge of some sorts. “W…what…what’re you doin’ here?”
No matter how disrupted his vision was from the alcohol, there was no way Reita could miss the way Uruha’s face dropped and his brows narrowed. He was pissed, and honestly, he had every right to be as such.
“What am I doing here?” Uruha finally stepped into Reita’s flat, his voice deep, low, and dangerous. He raised a hand, poking Reita in the chest roughly and sending the electrician stumbling a few paces back. “Are you serious? What am I doing here? It’s been three days, Rei. Three! Don’t you think I have every right to be at least a little damn worried when you disappear like that?”
“Kai-” Reita’s face morphed into slight bewilderment as the name of the man he knew he loved slipped past his lips. It had only been 72 hours since he’d last verbally announced the sweet name out loud, but the name already tasted foreign on his tongue. He’d gotten so used to saying it every day, multiple times a day. “Kai and I broke up…”
There was really no point in trying to dance around that fact, it was best just to get it out and in the open right now so he and Uruha could start on what Reita knew would be a long, obligatory talk.
His words seemed to have extinguished Uruha’s previous anger, his friend now sending him a sympathetic look. There had only been a few times since they’ve known each other that Uruha has sent him this particular look; the last time Reita remembered receiving it was the night he found out about his parents’ car accident. Knowing that Uruha believed his break up with Kai to be as painful as his parents’ deaths only caused his heart to sink even more, only for the fact that somewhere deep down he knew that his current heartbreak couldn’t even begin to match up to that of when he lost his parents. Because what he was feeling right now? It was the most painful experience of his life magnified by a thousand.
“Oh- I mean, fuck. What happened?” Uruha removed the finger that had been ebbed into Reita’s chest threateningly and instead encased his hand around the blond’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Reita scoffed and swatted away Uruha’s hand, his vision still seeing doubles as he stumbled back towards his couch and plopped down lifelessly. “No. Right now all I want to do is get a few more drinks in me so I can work up the courage to go to his house and get my damn birds back. It’s been three days, they’re probably starting to run low on food and water.”
In all reality, he really did want to talk to Uruha about Kai. Uruha was experienced, Uruha had many relationships in the past before he finally settled down with his wife and built a family with her. Uruha knew what to do when it came to break ups. Reita himself had seen the man he referred to as his boss rekindle with ex-girlfriends just days after they’d broken up, and he’d seen him completely break all ties with ex-partners he never wanted anything to do with again. He was a professional as far as Reita was concerned.
However, just the thought of having to say Kai’s name out loud again, of having to tell Uruha of how he’d gone behind his boyfriend’s back to find out information and how he’d not only broken Kai’s trust, but also his heart.
Reita couldn’t fathom doing that. It would feel like he was reliving the moment he destroyed such a fragile creature; reliving the moment he destroyed the man he realized he loved with all his heart too late in life.
“Are you insane?” Reita picked his head up just enough so he could see through his uncoordinated sight that Uruha was looking at him with a raised brow and a pinched expression. “Reita, there’s over a dozen beer cans on your floor, and I have a good feeling this is only today’s batch.” Uruha kicked a stray can across the floor. Reita wasn’t sure if it was to release some of his earlier anger or prove his point or maybe both. “I’ll go and get Oscar and Keiji for you. But when I get back? We’re having a long talk, understood?”
Reita sat up fast to protest, but the alcohol running through his body slowed his movements. Everything was spinning around him, and instead of reaching out for Uruha’s hand so he could pull him to a stop as originally intended, he grasped the sides of his head, groaning out in pain at the sudden throbbing that had taken over. “Uru- no..don’t-”
His pleads went unheard, however. Because he could hear Uruha walk back across his living room, hear him open the front door and mumble over his shoulder for Reita to stay right there, that he’d be back in a few.
The door opened and shut and then, aside from the thrumming in his ears, the room went back to being silent.
He tried to pick himself up so he could follow Uruha and prevent him from possibly making things worse, but the moment he stood on not so steady legs he was down and out, landing in a pile of scattered beer cans.
He cursed himself for drinking so excessively now, because he knew that attempting to kill his own pain was now only going to further Kai’s.
“Uru!” he screamed sluggishly, even knowing that Uruha was already long gone and unable to hear him, “Please…don’t. Please…” his words began to fade as did his vision; the intoxication taking over and attempting to put him into a slumber.
But he couldn’t give up quite yet, he had to at least warn Kai of his unsuspecting, and very much unwanted at the moment, visitor.
Reaching into his pocket, Reita curled his fingers around his cell phone, barely able to even see the screen at this point. However, the small bit he could see caused him to freeze. Through the required lock screen pattern, he could see Kai’s brilliant smile. That brilliant, warm smile that introduced Reita to the world of the intense feeling that was love.
The smile that he had possibly shattered for good.
He tried his best to unlock the screen, but the alcohol was in full effect now. He could feel his entire body growing weak, his world darkening as he began to doze off. His cell phone slipped from his now limp grip and fell to the floor, allowing his last thought before he blacked out to be how disappointed he was in himself for not even being able to do this last thing for Kai.
Maybe he really wasn’t boyfriend material.
Maybe he really he didn’t deserve to love or be loved.
When his shielded eyes finally re-opened, it felt like hours had passed. One quick, blurry look at his phone allowed him to realize only a mere 20 minutes had gone by. Enough time for him to sleep off some of his intoxication, but not nearly enough to be able to state he was sober. The alcohol was still numbing down the intense ache he felt through every fiber of his being, but at least now he was able to stand and walk a semi-straight line.
He groaned and pressed his palms to his temples, trying to muffle the pounding going on in his head, only to be reminded of that night he had woken up at Kai’s kitchen table after a night of questions and shots.
He remembers walking through the sparsely lit house, finding Kai situated in his room. He remembers Kai sitting on his floor, having a conversation with his numerous sets of bamboo. He remembers watching Kai, realizing that this was going to be the man who changed his entire life. That night, he’d admitted to himself that he was attracted to the eccentric character, but somewhere deep inside of him Reita realized that accepting that attraction meant so much more, he just hadn’t been able to accept it at the time.
However, now he knew. Now he knew that accepting that attraction had meant accepting he wanted to try and form something with Kai he hadn’t ever before with anyone else. Accepting that attraction had been the first step to accepting the love he knew he would eventually feel for Kai.
And that, right now, was what was causing a great deal of Reita’s current pain. He and Kai had come such a long way since their first encounter. They’d grown not only as people, but as a couple as well, and for Kai to have ended everything between them on the very day Reita had finally found it in himself to profess to Kai exactly how he felt about him? It was an ache Reita knew he wouldn’t be able to recover from any time soon.
More than anything, he wished to speak to Kai. He wanted to talk things over, to work things out so they could go back to long fuck sessions all throughout the night, only to cuddle until Reita had to get up and get ready for work. He wanted to watch Kai as he sipped on tea and hummed happily with his laptop resting on his stomach, replying back to students emails and grading papers. Even just watching Kai wearing his oversized glasses as he got invested in his nature documentaries he had watched more than a handful of times was something Reita was missing dearly. He himself had been getting sick of watching the repeated documentaries, but never, not even once, had he started getting tired of watching Kai.
Every sound, every movement, every little quirk. He missed everything about Kai.
He was already this desperate, he already missed him this much, and it had only been three days. How the hell was he supposed to survive the rest of his life without him?
He knew they needed to try and talk, but at the same time, Reita was terrified of attempting to try and contact the young teacher. He’d seen firsthand how much their fight had affected Kai, and Reita cared for the other too much to ever wish to put him through that again. Kai was sensitive, Kai was fragile. At least, that’s what Reita told himself. Because using the excuse of not wanting to hurt Kai again saved him from any possible further heart break. Because if they never spoke again to try and work things through, then Reita never had to risk being rejected again.
Pressing his palms into his sockets, he groaned out loud before beginning to shuffle his way back over to his fridge. His mind was beginning to clear too much and he needed to start on his next round of binging in order to erase these thoughts from his mind just temporarily.
“Of fucking course,” he grumbled to an almost empty fridge. He swore he’d stocked up on enough booze to get lost in a drunken stupor for the next month, but seeing as the only thing left in his fridge right now were some condiments and some needed-to-be-tossed-a-week ago leftovers, it became apparent he’d been drinking much more than he’d originally thought.
An empty fridge wasn’t going to stop him, though. He was going to get rid of these taunting thoughts even if it meant breaking his three-day sanctioned solitude.
Slamming the fridge door shut, he shuffled across his flat and shrugged on a pair of shoes and a coat. He grabbed his keys, wallet, and cell phone, taking a quick glance at the electronic device. Uruha had already been gone close to half an hour by now and he still hadn’t received even a simple text from him. Reita thought nothing of it though. Uruha and Kai had gotten along quite well during their initial meeting, so maybe Uruha was being the amazing best friend he was and doing his best to try and talk Kai into forgiving Reita and giving him a second chance. Maybe Kai hadn’t had a complete break down upon Uruha’s arrival, maybe-
Reita stopped his thoughts right there, knowing amping himself up with the dangerous combination of hope and Kai’s possible further destruction would only set him up for more pain in the long run. He shoved his phone into his back pocket and slid out the front door, not knowing exactly where he wished to head to yet, but knowing he didn’t care as long as he could drown his sorrows in bittersweet liquid.
He set off down the sidewalk with slow strides, sober enough to know realize he shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car. With his hands shoved into his coat pockets, he passed by buildings, his mind a complete blur and not even fully registering that he was passing by buildings he had been in thousands of times. The local grocery store, Sun’s flower shop, even the place he had at one point considered his second home – Lotus. At least, the building that had been Lotus just a few mere months ago. It was now under new ownership and being transformed from a bar into some kind of Italian restaurant.
For what seemed like one of the rare few times in his life, Reita cursed living in such a small town. Because now that Lotus was gone it seemed he had no other options available to him to publicly fill his current need for alcohol. He’d just have to head further downtown to the one liquor store and stock up on enough booze to keep him in a coma like state until the ache of his breakup with Kai died down some.
Continuing down the sidewalk, he allowed his thoughts to wander. He thought of Kai. He thought of his smile and his laugh and his cute quirks. He thought of how Kai burrowed his knees to his chest and constantly tilted his head to the side in wonderment. He thought of how odd it felt to lay in the dark at night and not smell the sweet aroma of hibiscus and almond cream.
He spun his cell phone around in his coat pocket, contemplating maybe worsening the situation and actually calling or texting Kai. Because at this point even the fear of being rejected once more was nothing compared to not knowing how Kai was doing.
Reita was contemplating causing himself more heartache just to check on the well-being of Kai. He was risking Kai breaking his heart all over again just to ensure that Kai was taking care of himself. He was willing to take on all the pain in the world just to make sure Kai was at least eating and sleeping, and that right there made Reita realize he was so beyond in love with Kai that he didn’t even think a word existed to explain just how much he cared about him.
He paused in his steps, whipping out his cell phone and pulling up Kai’s number.
I know you’re mad at me. Hell, I know you probably hate me and want absolutely nothing to do with me ever again. But please, Kai. Please just message me and let me know you’re okay. I’m sorry for everything that happened. I miss you like crazy and I would do anything to have you back, but I won’t even ask that of you. I just want to know if you’re doing okay… - Reita
He stood in place for a few minutes after he sent the message, simply reading over his words and anxiously awaiting a reply he knew he wasn’t going to get. Once he’d hit the ten-minute mark, he decided to turn his phone off and put it away, but not before sending out one last message.
If you don’t reply to me by tomorrow I’m having food sent to your house. I don’t care how pissed you are at me; you still need to eat. – Reita
Once he was positive he’d gotten his point across, Reita began his descent down the sidewalk once more, hoping to clear his mind before he fogged it with liquor once more. However, he barely managed to take a single step before he halted to a stop, because standing in front of him holding grocery bags was a face he wasn’t all too familiar with, yet, at the moment, this particular face was offering him some form of relief.
“Hitsugi?” the pierced man’s name felt strange on his tongue, their meetings always having been short and sparse.
“Hey, Reita,” Hitsugi smiled sweetly, shuffling the weight of his grocery bags, “I would ask how you’re doing, but honestly? You don’t look all too great. You look…”
“Look what?” Reita encouraged the other to continue.
“You look like you could use someone to talk to.”
Reita laughed wryly, kicking a stray pebble on the side walk into the road, “What makes you say that?”
“Because,” Hitsugi took a long pause before continuing so softly Reita almost didn’t hear him, “You look exactly how I did a few years back when I lost someone very close to me…”
He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but at that moment Reita knew the web of mysteries and lies was about to unfold. Hitsugi would be the one the help him finish this never ending puzzle.
“Hey, Hitsugi? I think it’s about time I buy you that drink I promised you a while back…”
Hitsugi nodded.
They didn’t end up at a bar, but instead at Hitsugi’s home. It was a small, studio flat with not much decoration, but it was still very much well lived in. Magazines scattered across the coffee table adjacent to the overstuffed couch with an unbearable amount of pillows, there were clothes stacked upon the futon that laid just a few feet to the left of the couch, and on top on the pile of clothes laid a tabby cat curled into a ball.
Hitsugi’s home offered a very laid back atmosphere, and for the first time in three days Reita found himself able to close his eyes and slouch back, feeling a bit at peace. He listened to cabinet and the refrigerator doors open and shut as the pawn shop owner put away his groceries, and a few minutes later the clinking of two bottles was heard nearby.
When Reita opened his eyes he found the red haired man in front, holding a bottle of coke out to him. “I know you said you were meant to buy me a drink, but to be honest I’m not much of a drinker and you really don’t look like you can handle anything more. So, coke it is.”
Reita sat up a bit and accepted the bottle, popping the cap off of it and taking a sip before muttering a quick thanks. It had been a long while since he’d had something to drink that was this sweet and it almost felt like it physically hurt him as he swallowed the carbonated liquid because he knew it was something Kai would enjoy.
“So,” Hitsugi puffed out through a breath of air as he dropped down on the couch next to Reita and gathered a pillow, hugging it to his stomach as tongued one of the piercings decorating his bottom lip, “Are you just really, really upset about Aoi leaving, or did something else happen?”
Of course Hitsugi wouldn’t recognize what was going on with Reita right away. They were practically strangers and the only information the pierced man would have on Reita was what Aoi had possibly told him. But from the few short conversations Reita had in the past with Aoi about Hitsugi, it appeared that Hitsugi had been the one person Aoi had turned to in an attempt to break away from reality. And so Reita wouldn’t have been surprised if Aoi had never once mentioned his relationship with Kai to Hitsugi because it – it just hit too close to home.
“Um,” Reita cleared his throat, trying to think of a proper way to start this conversation so it would eventually travel into the right direction. “I guess you could say it’s a combination of things. Aoi leaving sucked majorly, yeah, but what sucks even more are the…relationship issues I’m having right now.”
“Relationship issues? What kinda relationship issues?”
“Um,” Reita thumbed at the cold coke bottle in his hand, playing with the condensation, “The kind where my boyfriend kind of dumped me?”
“Holy shit,” Hitsugi sprung up on the couch, eyed wide and mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. “Kai dumped you? Kai broke up with you?”
Ah, so apparently Aoi had mentioned Reita’s personal life to Hitsugi.
“Um, yeah. He kind of, well-” Got pissed at me for going behind his back and getting information about his past life from someone he once considered family, Reita thought to himself. Which, he realized, was exactly what he was doing all over again. But now he knew the only way to possibly fix things between him and Kai was the get the whole back story. And even if fixing things wasn’t possible, even if Kai never wanted anything to do with him again, then at least Reita’s curiosity would be sated and he would no longer wonder just what it was that came between him and Kai in the first place. “We had a misunderstanding and that misunderstanding kind of escalated into a fight, and well, now here we are...”
“Shit,” Hitsugi muttered while falling back against the couch, slouching even lower and running his fingers, which were decorated with an excessive amount of rings, through his hair, “That really sucks, man. From what Aoi was telling me, you and Kai seemed really happy together. I could actually see Aoi was feeling a bit relived, and that’s not something I’ve seen him allow himself since-” He paused midsentence, eyeing Reita out of his peripheral vision before taking a quick sip out of his bottle, “Anyway, can I ask what the fight was about?”
Reita sighed. Of course getting information out of Hitsugi wasn’t going to be as easy as he originally thought it was because it seemed everyone in this town was extremely tight lipped when it came to talking about anyone who was possibly involved with Ni~ya around the time of his death.
“I guess you can say the fight was about us not really…opening up to each other. I-” taking a deep breath, Reita licked his lips and took a sip of is coke before scooching up on the couch and placing his bottle on the messy coffee table, “Okay, to be completely honest? The fight was about Ni~ya...”
“Oh…”
“Yeah, oh…”
Reita could feel the tension in the air begin to gather as the silence dragged on, but, to his surprise, a few moments later Hitsugi sat up completely straight and chuckled a bit.
“So, I take it the reason why you seemed kinda happy to bump into me is because you figured I’d give you information you’ve been hassling Aoi to give you for the past few months?”
Guilt automatically began seeping in and Reita could feel himself shrinking by the minute. He wished he could just disappear and never have put himself in this awkward situation in the first place. “Well, kinda, yeah…”
“Hmm,” Hitsugi hummed, taking another swig of his bottle, “then I guess all I need to know is…just what exactly do you wanna know?”
Reita could tell by the boyish smile Hitsugi had spread across his lips that the sheer shock he was feeling at the moment was abundantly obvious on his features. Enlarged eyes, an open mouth, a bit pastier than usual. They were all sure signs of shock, and he was sure each sign he was experiencing were being expressed a bit more than obviously.
Hitsugi knocked his knee together with Reita’s and laughed lightly, and although a small smile was still gracing his features, Reita could tell it was a solemn laugh. “Reita, I’m not Aoi. If you ask me something directly, I’ll tell you. What happened, yeah, it sucked. It sucked a lot, but I’ve accepted it happened and…I just don’t mind talking about it anymore. So, go on, tell me. What exactly do you wanna know?”
“Everything,” Reita finally managed to spit out after a few moments of staring at Hitsugi in shock, “I want to know everything…”
By the time Reita found himself back outside and walking down the isolated sidewalk, his brain was clustered with information, both old and new, for him to process. Every step he took felt heavier than the next, and he was close to folding in on himself. Because Hitsugi had done exactly what he had asked of him – he had told him everything he wanted to know. And now Reita felt like the biggest ass alive.
He’d been such an outsider in this whole scenario, and bolting in and trying to demand answers from everyone made him seem not only obnoxious, but beyond insensitive as well. Kai, Aoi, Ruki, Hitsugi. They’d all lost someone close to them – Kai, a boyfriend. Aoi, a brother. Ruki, an ex who he never stopped caring for. And Hitsugi, a best friend since birth.
It’d been a little over six years since the four of the lost someone they cared about so deeply in such a vicious way, and instead of asking them how they were coping, all Reita had cared about was finding answers to appease his curiosity and further his relationship with Kai.
He felt like a selfish asshole, he felt like scum.
And even at this moment, even after finding out a young man’s life had been taken from him in such a brutal way, one of the only thoughts that Reita could fully process was how much he wanted to be with Kai. How much he wanted to hold him and reassure him. How much he wanted to apologize for demanding answers from him that were too painful to answer.
More than anything though, he wanted to make sure Kai was okay. Not because of their break up, but because of what he went through before they met. Everything made sense now. The locks on the door that led to the basement, Kai’s refusal to leave the house, and the explosive reaction he’d had from Reita bringing up Ni~ya out of the blue like that and demanding answers.
Kai had been there.
He had been there when the bullet was fired.
He had been there and watched as the life slowly faded from Ni~ya’s eyes and all went dark.
He’d experienced a tragedy that no one would ever wish upon another, and Reita couldn’t even begin to imagine just what it was Kai had gone through on that fearful night.
It made sense that he was scared senseless of the outside world, it made sense that he wanted to stay in his own protective bubble and hide away from everyone else.
Because anyone who had gone through what he had would react the same exact way he has.
More than ever, guilt was hitting Reita hard. He knew the reason Kai had looked so traumatized when mentioning Ni~ya’s name was because he had been. Mentioning the man who had been taken from this world far too early most likely made Kai relive the most traumatizing moment of his life all over again in just a few seconds time.
Reita would understand if Kai could never force himself to forgive him, because he knew if their positions had been switched, he would’ve never accepted an apology from Kai.
His mind had been so clustered with such heavy thoughts the entire walk that Reita didn’t even realize he had already stepped in front of the complex to his flat. He made his way up the stairs robotically and allowed himself into his home, lazily taking off his coat and boots before slumping down on his bed.
He stared up at the ceiling, still trying to process his thoughts. The entire time, however, he found himself thumbing his cell phone through his pants pocket, and eventually he just couldn’t take it anymore. He whipped his cell phone out, turned it on, and was automatically slammed with new messages. His heart jumped in his chest momentarily, his mind deceiving him for a moment into believing it was Kai who messaged him back.
But then he finally calmed down and realized it was Uruha who had texted him.
Reita had been so distracted with all these new discoveries that he had forgotten all about Uruha going to get Oscar and Keiji.
It wasn’t the man he wanted to see a text message from, but maybe Uruha happened to have an update on Kai as well.
Rei, I just got to Kai’s and I don’t want to freak you out, but…I can’t find Kai anywhere. I’m going to keep looking, though, it’s a big house, he could be anywhere. – Uruha
I found him on the back porch and it’s freezing out here and…fuck. I’m going to have to call an ambulance, he’s out cold… – Uruha
Reita slowly sat up in bed in complete disbelief, staring at the messages, reading them over and over again, refusing to register them properly. His hands were shaking, his chest was getting warm and his stomach was churning, verging on the point of wanting to vomit. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t even figure out how to properly react. He just sat there, finally finding it in him to open his voicemail and listen to the one message awaiting him.
“Reita, get your ass to Kai’s now. I don’t care how fucking drunk you are, call a cab if you have to get here, but get here. I know you, Rei. If you don’t get here right this moment, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life.”
That was all it took.
He dropped his phone onto his mattress, jumped up out of bed, and rushed out the door without bothering to grab his coat or even slip on his shoes.
Uruha’s voice mail was from ten minutes ago.
Kai’s place was twenty minutes away.
Reita planned to make it there in less than five.
Author's Note: Weeell, I know I promised a longer chapter. I know I said this would be the second to last chapter as well. But, with what happened in Orlando yesterday, it felt extremely disrespectful to go into the full details I had originally planned for this chapter. I did my best to touch very vaguely on Ni~ya's death, and I promise, next chapter I will explain things further and there will be some actual Reita and Kai interaction. I just felt the need to get this chapter out, even if it kind of is a filler. Buuut, you'll be happy to know I'm changing the amount of chapters, so who knows when this fic will actually end :P (probably 2032 with how slow I am with updates, tbh lol.) Hope ya'll enjoyed <33
