bitetoall136: (CockroachKai)
[personal profile] bitetoall136
Title: Unseen Solitaire
Chapter: 9/??
Author: [livejournal.com profile] bite_to_all136
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life, Comedy, Angst, Drama
Warnings: mxm relationships, inappropriate language, mental instability
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairings/Characters: Reita/Kai, Reita/Ruki, Uruha/OC, hinted Aoi/Hitsugi & Aoi/Ruki
Summary: Reita is an electrician who lives the life of a bachelor; not caring at all to settle down and put himself in a serious relationship. Will the enigmatic Kai be the one to change his bachelor ways?
Notes: A fill for the 'busted heater in the heart of winter ' square on [livejournal.com profile] krasivayadusha's angst/fluff bingo card. :P

Previous Chapters: (Chapter 1)(Chapter 2)(Chapter 3)(Chapter 4)(Chapter 5)(Chapter 6)(Chapter 7)(Chapter 8)(Chapter 9 Part 1)


Chapter 9 Part 2

The flashing of red lights reflected eerily through the night sky as Reita pulled up in front of Kai’s house. He felt like he was in some alternative universe, because even seeing an ambulance parked nearby and Uruha standing outside speaking to a paramedic didn’t allow the fact that something quite terrible could’ve possibly happened to Kai to sink in. He felt like this was a cruel nightmare that he would wake up from at any given moment.

He closed his eyes tight, hoping that when he opened them all that was before him would disappear and he’d wake up a sweaty mess in bed, trying to catch his breath as he brought himself back to reality. However, when he opened his eyes again, he realized this was his reality.

Especially when he saw Kai being brought out the front door on a stretcher.

He was out of his car in a heartbeat, slamming the door behind him and sprinting up to Kai. He was expecting to demand answers right away, to bombard the paramedics wheeling him out with questions until he was informed of every little detail. But every question he could think to ask was forgotten the moment he finally came close enough to Kai to examine every inch of his body.

Kai was naturally pale, but how he appeared at the moment? Reita would’ve believed him to have not been breathing for days on end. He feared even thinking about possibly touching Kai because his skin was so white, so fragile and thin looking, that it seemed as if it may crumble like one of those sweet, flaky pastries Kai enjoyed shoveling into his mouth by the boxful.

There were at least four thermal blankets covering his entire body, but a tint of blue still continued to stain his cracked lips. His dark, choppy hair fell limp and framed his face, making him literally look as if he was on death’s door. However devastating Kai’s current state appeared, Reita was still thankful. Because those gorgeous mocha eyes were sealed shut. He didn’t have to see the pain dancing in them, he didn’t have to see the heartache and complete terror he knew would be there if Kai had been awake.

At the moment, he was more terrified of Kai potentially waking up and realizing he was brought out of the safety zone of his home. He didn’t know how Kai would react, he didn’t know the severity of this situation in the least bit, and he didn’t want to find out. He wanted Kai to get to the hospital, he wanted the doctors to magically fix him up, and he wanted to bring Kai home, all without ever having him wake up.

He knew it wasn’t possible, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep his fingers crossed.

“What happened?” he didn’t mean to sound so demanding, but the mixture of worry and fright made his tone of voice short and clipped. The paramedic adjusting Kai’s IV simply ignored him, continuing to push the stretcher towards the ambulance. “I asked what happened?”

This time it was practically a growl and his voice did grab the paramedic’s attention, but he still did not garner the response he wished to receive.

“Are you family?”

“No, but I-”

“Then I can’t tell you anything. Now, please, sir. Let go of the stretcher and let us do our jobs. We need to get this man to the hospital asap and you standing here asking questions isn’t helping matters.”

He hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed onto the sides of the stretcher at one point, but now he was beyond hesitant to let go. He wanted to stick by Kai’s side, he wanted to be there for him just in case he woke up and needed reassuring, needed to know that everything would be okay. But he also knew that if he didn’t let go, he’d be risking Kai’s life. So, with sheer force, he uncurled his fingers from around the bars and watched as they loaded Kai up into the back of the ambulance, speeding off with the sirens blaring moments later.

He watched the ambulance speed down the road until it was no longer in sight, and then he quickly snapped himself out of the trance he’d fallen into and began rushing back to his car, fully intending to jump into the driver’s seat and possibly make it to the hospital long before the ambulance ever did. Though, before he could even take a single step towards his vehicle, he felt a hand wrap around his upper arm, pulling him to a stop.

“Rei, you’re shaking. You’re distressed, you’ve been drinking, and you just shouldn’t be driving right now. Come on,” Uruha began dragging Reita towards his own car. “I’ll drive us there…”

The wait once they arrived in the emergency waiting room seemed never ending. At first, the hospital staff would provide them with no information, but after the realization dawned upon them that Kai had no other family, they very eagerly pushed the admission papers upon Reita and advised him to fill them out to the best of his capabilities.

Reita tried his best to fill them out, but his hands were shaking with such severity at this point that he’d barely been able to fill out the line requesting Kai’s surname legibly. Uruha, apparently having taken notice, grabbed the pen and clipboard from the blond’s hands. “Here, I got this, Rei. You just answer the questions for me so I can fill them out for you, got that?”

Reita found it in him to be able to nod his head and give a shaky reply. “Y-yeah, got it…”

“Alright, good. Now, how old is he?”

“T…twenty-six. Going to be twenty-seven pretty soon.”

It was already the beginning of October and Reita had been planning for Kai’s birthday at the end of the month for weeks now. He’d planned on building new shelves in Kai’s bedroom, ones that could better support his mass amount of plants, and he’d also planned on installing solar lights so the plants could get the required amount of sun even on dark and dreary winter mornings. That was only the beginning of his plans. So much more had been in the works; a fancy dinner, some new clothes that actually properly fit his tiny frame, fulfilling yet another one of Kai’s fantasies. Reita had been willing to do it all, and it was only now hitting him that none of this was now going to happen – ever.

Uruha hummed and fill out a few more lines, the scratching of the pen against the paper sounding unbearably loud to Reita at the moment. “Oh,” Uruha laughed out of nowhere, turning and looking at Reita with a tiny grin, “There’s an entire section on his sex life down here, sure you want me to fill this out? Because with all you’ve told me about Kai, I’m pretty sure I can check yes to just about everything they’re asking about here.”

That drew a small laugh out of Reita. “I’m sure you can too, to be honest. So, go ahead and do just that, I’m going to go for a short walk…”

He needed to clear his mind, he needed to prepare himself for the moment Kai would possibly wake up. And so he found himself wandering the halls until he found himself in front of the hospital’s gift shop. The prices were extravagantly marked up, but that still didn’t prevent him from buying a bar of their richest chocolate, a single rose, and a pig stuffie holding a heart.

Kai had risked his life to save a pig at some point in his life, so it made sense in Reita’s head to buy him this particular plush. Maybe in return for saving his real life counterpart, this stuffie would watch over Kai as he healed?

If he healed.

After leaving the gift shop Reita found himself in the cafeteria. By this point he had sobered up most of the way, but, as always, he was a complete light weight when it came to alcohol and he could feel it’s after effects beginning to impact him drastically. He’d originally intended to get something to eat to help absorb the alcohol all the faster, but he instead found himself going up to one of the staff members and asking if there was any way he could get a fresh cup of peppermint tea. She assured him yes, and five minutes later Reita found himself sitting at a bench a few paces outside of the cafeteria’s large double doors, staring down into the steamy cup as a smile that spoke nothing but heart break spread across his lips.

“Please, Kai…” he whispered, tears sliding down his cheeks and into the cup as his back began to tremble from his failed attempt of holding everything he felt in. “Please just be okay…”

He sat there until he was positive he’d shed every last tear and the trembling had stopped. Then, he stood, completely wiping the minor break down he’d just allowed himself from his memory, and grabbed his bag from the gift shop, before beginning his descent back to the waiting room.

“Hey, have you heard anything yet?”

Uruha shook his head as Reita sat down beside him, handing him a cup of coffee he’d snagged for him on his walk back.

“Not yet.” Uruha sighed, taking a sip of the coffee, “but, Rei? Can I ask you something? Where the hell were you? I texted you twice, called you even, and you never answered. I-”

“I was out getting some answers, Uru.” Reita interrupted, squeezing his friend’s hand, “Seriously, stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine. Just…let’s focus on Kai right now, yeah?”

Uruha looked hesitant, but still he nodded his head and slouched back in his seat, sipping his coffee and remaining silent the rest of the wait; giving Reita exactly what he knew he needed.


Eventually a nurse walked out of one of the back rooms and straight up to the duo, briefing them on Kai’s condition. “He’s weak, very weak, and is still unconscious. He was suffering from severe hypothermia when he was brought in and he was mildly malnourished. We’ve managed to get his body temperature up to normal, but he’s going to need to stay overnight to-”

“No!” Reita hadn’t meant to interrupt her, just as he hadn’t meant to jump up out of his seat so dramatically. But the thought of Kai staying here any longer, the thought of him waking up and reverting back to that scared, curled up ball of a man he was the night Reita found him on the floor when they were meant to be out on town on their first date, ignited a strong fear in him that controlled his every movement. “I-I mean…isn’t there any way we can take him home? I’ll watch over him, or I’ll even pay for one of those home nurses to go back to his place and watch after him. I just, I need him to get home…”

The nurse sent Reita a sympathetic look, shaking her head lightly, “Sir, I’m sorry, but he has to stay. Your friend here has written everything down about Uke-san’s history, we know of his condition. Don’t you worry, there are professionals here who can help him cope with his mental state. I recommend-”

The nurse’s mouth continued to move, but Reita honestly had stopped hearing everything she had to say after the words ‘professionals’ and ‘cope’.

“Cope? After everything he’s been through, I’d say he’s coping quite well. I-”

Reita quickly stopped himself upon registering the odd looks he was receiving from both Uruha and the nurse. He had to remind himself that they didn’t know all he knew. He had to remind himself that, as far as they were concerned, Kai had locked himself up in his home for the past 6, almost 7 years, just because. They didn’t know his story; they didn’t know just what horror Kai had lived through. And at the moment, Reita wished he didn’t either. Because then maybe he would be rational and realize that maybe Kai did need help instead of falling into the same mindset that Kai had and believing he would be safest hoarded inside his house for the remainder of his life.

“Never mind,” he lifted a hand and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “When can I see him?”

“As I said earlier, he’s still unconscious, but he’s stable enough to accept visitors. He’s in room 203. However, if he begins to wake up you’ll need to leave to room immediately as we’re not sure how he’ll react to-”

Reita started down the hall before she could finish. He knew what she was going to say, and he didn’t care. Because no matter how poorly his and Kai’s last interactions had gone, Reita still cared for Kai. He still understood him better than most, and he knew that if Kai were to wake up, he could be the only one there for him.

He froze outside Kai’s room door with his hand wrapped around the nob, unable to bring himself to turn it. He had so much going through his mind right now that even the thought of participating in a task as simple as opening a door seemed next to impossible.

Taking a deep breath, he looked over his shoulder, catching Uruha’s stare from down the hall. His friend offered him an encouraging smile and mouthed a ‘go on’ at him before turning back towards the waiting room, and it was then Reita knew he had no other excuses.

Tightening his hand around the door knob, he twisted it to the left and forced his stiff legs to take the final steps into Kai’s room. The room was warm, the heater going at full blast, and it was stark white, sending a chill though Reita’s entire body. He hadn’t seen a room so clean and that smelt of heavy sanitization since he found himself identifying his parents’ bodies at the morgue just a few floors below. His fingers curled around the plastic gift bag in his hand, and as he walked closer to the bed he forced himself to block out Kai’s body lying there practically lifelessly. Instead, he focused on setting up the gifts he bought for Kai on the side table right next to the bed. He sat the rose up in the plastic vase it came it and filled it with water from the jug sitting nearby, and right next to the rose he placed the chocolate bar and the stuffie, angling it just right so if Kai did happen to wake up, the thoughtful items would be the first thing he saw.

Once everything was set up, Reita took a seat on the stool placed next to the bed and scooted it closer, closing his eyes as he reached out and blindly grabbed Kai’s hand, placing a kiss to his knuckles as he laced their fingers together. Kai’s hand was warm and soft as ever, and simply feeling him so close and alive made Reita’s heart beat faster than it has ever beat in his entire life. So fast, that opening his eyes and actually looking Kai over properly was becoming a fear. Because he knew his heart would only beat all the faster once he did.

Finally, after a grueling amount of time, he forced his eyes open and, just as he predicted, his heart started pounding rapidly against his chest and his entire body warmed with a joy he hadn’t felt since he’d last held Kai in his arms. Because, unlike just a few hours ago, Kai was no longer deathly pale. The small amount of color his skin actually held was back and his lips were no longer a pale blue; he looked lively, he looked as if he were merely sleeping after a stressful day of dealing with his students online.

A warm smile stretched upon Reita’s lips at that mere though. Secretly, the days where Kai was stressed were some of Reita’s favorite. Because those are the days Kai would let down his guard completely and let Reita hold and comfort him until he finally calmed and was back to his usual eccentric self, requesting Reita to either strip down so he could decorate his body with random ice cream toppings and lick them off or him, or getting on all fours and shaking his ass, demanding Reita to spank him.

A chuckle escaped him as he thought back on his last few months together with Kai, and finally, his eyes focused fully on those choppy bangs resting limply against his forehead. Leaning forward, he ran his fingers through smooth, jet black hair, making a clearing so he could press a sweet kiss to Kai’s temple.

That one kiss sent an electric pulse throughout his body, and before he knew it, he started laying gentle kisses all down Kai’s face. His forehead, his nose, his cheek, his chin. Until, eventually, his lips grazed Kai’s parched ones, allowing him to whisper against them, “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Kai. I love you…”

Hours passed once again, and no matter how exhausted Reita felt, he couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep. Instead, he sat there, holding Kai’s hand, watching him sleep. He was afraid that if he looked away for even a single second Kai would wake up and all hell would break loose, so he sat there and watched. He watched and watched until his eyes felt as if they were going to burn out of his sockets. Enough time passed that Kai’s attending nurse came in thrice to check his vitals, informing Reita on the second visit that Kai’s body temperature had finally climbed back to normal. When she came in the third time, she told Reita that within the hour Kai’s doctor would be coming in to check on him, and it seemed within just a blink of an eye that hour was up and an elderly doctor in at least his 60’s was entering the room and doing a head to toe assessment of Kai.

“There seems to be no permanent damage,” the doctor stated coolly as two of his fingers curled slightly around Kai’s neck, checking his pulse manually. “Once he wakes up, he may experience sudden cold spells for a while, but that should be the extent of his damage.” He covered Kai’s body with a heated blanket and finally looked up, smiling at Reita. “Based on his condition when he was admitted, I was expecting some damage. He’s either a very strong, or very lucky, young man.”

Reita looked up at the doctor with Kai’s hand still in his and smiled a serene smile. “Strong,” he whispered, voice raw from hours of silence. He thought back to all Hitsugi told him just a little less than a day ago, thought about all the pain and suffering he’d gone through. He didn’t care if Kai was hiding himself away in his house due to fear alone, because in his eyes, Kai portrayed more strength in his actions for continuing to have faith in humanity after all he went through. “He’s the strongest man I know...”

After the doctor left the room, time seemed to pass at an even more rapid pace. Before long, sun beams were shining in through the slits of the room’s window’s blinds, igniting Kai’s face in a dim orange hue. His features crinkled in distaste when his body registered the sudden warmth, resulting in a tired chuckle slipping from Reita.

Even while unconscious, Kai was sure to show the world how much of a morning person he truly wasn’t.

“…Mhh…”

Reita went from feeling calm in Kai’s presence to feeling his heart thunder in his chest once more. However, this time it wasn’t out of the pure joy of getting to be around Kai, it was out of fear. Because realization dawned on him that Kai’s face scrunching up as it was wasn’t just because of the sun. No, it was because he was waking up.

He watched Kai squirm around slightly, watched as the tip of his tongue darted out and moistened his dried lips, only to smack them together and groan lowly in repugnance. The slight wrinkles near his eyes deepened, and then all too soon his eyelids began to open, revealing a pair of tired mocha eyes.

Reita’s breathing came to a halt as he watched Kai’s eyes take him in and confusion begin to cross every one of his defining features. In just a few seconds time, Kai’s expression changed from confused, to shocked, until, finally, he appeared what Reita would almost considered relieved.

“Rei?” Kai spoke up, voice hushed and hoarse. “What’re you doing here? I-”

That look of relief turned out to be only momentary. For the moment Kai finally registered where he was, the moment he registered he was somewhere that wasn’t a room in his house, sheer panic took over. His eyes glossed over in fear, his body went tense and Reita felt his hand, which had never once for even a single second let go of Kai’s, get crushed by Kai’s death grip, and he watched and heard Kai’s breathing begin to accelerate to dangerous levels.

Reita knew he had to do something, but before he could even move or begin to make a sound, Kai began thrashing on the bed and speaking incoherently, mumbling under his breath, listing off a bunch of random numbers that meant nothing to Reita, and every now and again breaking Reita’s heart by whimpering the occasional ‘help’.

In a heartbeat Reita was on his feet and grabbing Kai’s shoulders, trying to push him flat back against the bed before he could potentially rip any IVs out and harm himself. “Kai!” He tried calling his name, hoping that his familiar voice would bring Kai out of the fearful trance he currently found himself in. “Kai, stop, please! I’m here, don’t worry, you’re safe…”

That seemed to do the trick for, suddenly, the trashing stopped and Kai calmed some, relaxing back against the bed and looking up at Reita with wide, glossy mocha eyes for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

“…Rei?”

His voice was a mere whisper, barely a puff of air even in the quiet of the room, and Kai appeared more lost than Reita had ever once seen him before. Even so, Reita could sit back in his chair feeling some relief. “Yes, Kai, it’s me.” He squeezed Kai’s hand, smiling calmly, “You-”

Reita wasn’t sure exactly what it was, maybe a nurse dropped a clipboard out in the hallway or maybe someone had bumped into one of the med carts he’d seen out in the hallway earlier on, but something right outside of Kai’s door made a loud ‘bang!’ and, instantly, Reita could see the fear crawl back into Kai’s eyes, taking over every inch of his body.

“Kai, don’t-”

Kai pulled his sheets back over his face and curled up into a shivering ball. All Reita wanted to do was reach out and attempt to comfort the man before him, so he did just that, placing his hand on the small of Kai’s back – which wound up being the biggest mistake of his life.

Instantly, Kai tensed up, and before Reita could even begin to question what was wrong a gut wrenching scream came from under the sheets that never seemed to stop. It was such a devastating cry that all Reita could do was sit there and stare wide eyed, watching as Kai began to trash again, screams never once diming down.

“…Kai?” he eventually called out softly, so softly that there was no way Kai could ever hear him above his own cries for help. “Kai?” He tried again, beginning to reach his hand out once more.

Luckily, before he could get near Kai again, a nurse came rushing into the room and politely shouted at Reita to back off. She spent a few minutes trying to calm Kai down herself, and when that resulted in nothing, she took out a syringe that she had apparently prepared before entering the room and injected it into Kai’s IV, resulting in Kai falling back into a tranquil sleep seconds later.

“He’s sedated,” the nurse informed Reita, checking over Kai’s vitals and jotting down notes in his patient folder. “And I have a feeling not for the last time tonight.”

At the time, the nurse’s words had confused Reita. However, hours later when Kai had once again woken from his sedate sleep and the screaming and sheer panic had taken back over, forcing the nurse to come in again and inject Kai for the second time, he began to understand.

It wasn’t once, it wasn’t twice, it wasn’t even three times. It was four. Four separate times the nurse was forced to come in and sedate Kai. Four separate times Reita felt his heart shatter from having to listen to those painfully grueling screams.

He felt so useless just sitting there, watching as Kai pleaded for help, and by the time noon rolled around, Reita knew he had to catch a break. The nurse had been in not all that long ago to check on Kai, so he knew he had at least another few hours before Kai awoke in a frenzy yet again.

Standing from the stool at Kai’s bedside, he felt every bone in his body protest against him. He felt stiff from sitting by Kai’s side for so long, and it was only when he walked out of the door and into the hallway that he realized how much his eyes were burning. How long had he gone without closing them now? Was it really over 24 hours? He couldn’t even begin to decipher where one day started and the other one ended; his chat with Hitsugi now felt like it had been an eternity ago.

He stepped into the restroom out by the nurses’ station and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror for the first time in almost two days – he looked a mess. Heavy bags under his eyes, greasy hair, prominent red lines decorating his eyelids, and dark stubble beginning to make itself known. All he could do was stare at his reflection in complete exhaustion for a few before he finally came back to reality and forced himself to turn on the tap and throw some water in his face. He knew going home and catching a quick cat nap would be much more effective in waking himself up, but, for now, the water would have to do. There would be no leaving the hospital until he could ensure Kai was safely back at home.

Once back in Kai’s room Reita took his claimed spot yet again and grabbed ahold of Kai’s hand, squeezing. The sun was beaming into the room fully now, encasing Kai in an angelic glow as he continued to sleep, and Reita knew it was a sight he could stare at for hours if not for the splitting headache he was currently struggling with due to lack of sleep and inadequate nutrition.

The glow of the sun, the rumbling of the air conditioner, the random noises from out in the hall. It all made his head pound even more with fury, and so, with a low groan, he lowered his head, resting it on the side of Kai’s bed and burying his face into the sheets.

Within seconds, the forever soothing scent of hibiscus and almond cream brought him into a deep slumber.

Reita wasn’t exactly sure how long he passed out for, but when he woke up his headache was completely gone and the room was lit only by the random glow of the hospital machines and the moonlight. Before he could fully lift his head, he made sure to tighten his hold on Kai’s hand, and when he looked up at the head of the bed, he found himself shocked.

Kai was awake.

Kai was awake, Kai was letting Reita continue to hold his hand, and Kai was remaining calm.

Reita almost wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t still sleeping.

Instead, he let go of Kai’s hand and pushed himself away from the bed a bit, giving Kai some space while never once breaking contact with those tired mocha eyes.

“I…I’ll go grab a nurse.” He said, keeping his voice just below a whisper. He was unsure of how Kai felt to have him in his presence at the moment, so he figured it best to leave so he could bring a third party into the room in order to make things less awkward for the both of them. “Be right back…”

“Rei…”

Reita froze in his steps as he heard Kai groggily call out his name. He could now understand why Kai hadn’t had an episode upon waking up this time. Just his sluggish voice alone was enough for Reita to realize that the sheer amount of times Kai had been sedated was effecting him drastically, and it would probably take days before the drugs were fully out of his system before he was fully functional again

“Yes?” He turned towards Kai and saw he could barely keep those usually lively eyes of his open; they were barely even slits at this point.

“I…sorry…please don’t…leave…”

Kai’s eyes shut fully and sleep took back over before Reita could even begin to think of how to respond to such a wrenching plead.

For the next day and a half Kai continued to sleep and sleep. The doctor explained to Reita it was normal given the stress Kai’s body had been under, and the mass amount of medication he’d been pumped with. He also informed Reita that once they did one last full inspection on Kai, he could be sent home.

True to his word, the doctor released Kai from the hospital later that night, and Reita found himself rolling Kai out the hospital doors in a wheelchair to Uruha’s car.

“Thanks for picking us up, Uru.” Reita said as he scooped a barely coherent Kai out of the wheelchair and began situating him safely in the back seat. “I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me shit, Rei. Just get your ass in the car so I can get you home and you can get some sleep. You literally look like you’re about to drop dead from exhaustion.”

“I know,” Reita began climbing into the other side of the back seat, sitting close to Kai so he could support his limp body. “But I’m not going home, I’m going to stay with Kai.”

Uruha looked at Reita through the rearview mirror as he started up the car and smiled just slightly. “Like I said; let me get you home.”

It felt like forever, but, finally, after a seemingly never ending ride and a lot of help on Uruha’s part, Reita got Kai home and tucked into bed. He spoke with Uruha outside of Kai’s bedroom for just a few moments, and it was in those few moments Reita realized, not for the first time, that he would be completely lost without Uruha in his life. He’d told Reita to take as much time off of work as possible, told him that he had brought Oscar and Keiji back to his place and he and his kids had been watching over them and giving them fresh food and water every day. In just a few seconds time, Uruha had made more than half of his worries diminish, allowing him to keep his focus on Kai primarily.

They would bicker at times and not always see eye to eye, but Uruha was always there for him and Reita couldn’t even begin to express how grateful he was for their friendship.

He was way past the point of being exhausted, but after Uruha left Reita couldn’t bring himself to try and lay down. Instead, he paced the house, cleaning up what he could to try and distract himself from checking on Kai every few seconds. The doctor had said Kai could suffer from frequent cold spells, so Reita had tossed every blanket he could find in the house on top of Kai, but it just didn’t seem to be enough. He didn’t wish to ever see Kai back in the state he was when he’d been rushed to the hospital days prior, so he was going to take every little precaution he could.

After cleaning everything he could, after reading over Kai’s release papers and doctor’s notes at least ten times to make sure he committed everything to memory, Reita finally settled himself in the office chair Kai kept in his room. His eyes felt heavy and he wanted to close them, but instead he continued to watch Kai sleep; the image of Kai fast asleep in his own bed lightening his heavy heart a bit.

His slight state of serenity didn’t last long, however. Because out of the corner of his eye, Reita caught a bit of Isola’s shattered pot. Guilt filled his veins right away and he was up and on his feet in just a few milliseconds time, gathering the broken pot and tossing the bits into a nearby trashcan. He then collected what was left of Isola’s slowly wilting self and placed her in another pot with one of Kai’s many other ‘children’, hoping he could try and salvage what was left of her with a bit plant feed, water, and long term care.

He had just picked up one of the many watering cans in Kai’s room and began watering Isola’s golden colored stalk when he heard shuffling behind him. Reita froze and couldn’t really bring himself to turn around, not sure if Kai was going to be awake enough to yell at him to get out or if he was just going to roll back over and go back to sleep.

But there was no denying that after a few minutes of tense quiet, Reita could feel a set of eyes on him. He wasn’t sure if the stare was one of anger or curiosity or whatever else Kai could possibly be feeling towards him at the moment, but he knew for a fact that those eyes were focused on him and they wouldn’t look away until he turned around.

Taking a deep breath that sent a shudder throughout his entire body, Reita put down the watering can before he slowly turned around. Kai looked tired, so, so tired, but for the first time in days he also looked somewhat alert.

“Kai,” Reita started softly, his nails digging into his palms painfully out of anticipation. “I…I’ll get out of here as soon as I’m sure you’re okay. I just-”

“You remembered…” A whisper to soft that Reita actually strained to hear it even though Kai was barely a foot away from him.

“What?” His face scrunched up in confusion and a shiver raked through his entire body. It was so nice to hear Kai’s voice without an ounce of fear lacing it. “Remembered? Remembered what?”

“Your promise to me…” a small, barely detectable smile crossed Kai’s lips and his eyes began to shut again as he whispered just as softly, “… you remembered.”

It took Reita a moment to register exactly what Kai was talking about, but then he remembered. He remembered the morning after he and Kai were supposed to have their first date, he remembered Kai looking worried about the melt down he’d had the night before, and he remembered Kai earnestly asking him to watch over his bamboo if anything ever happened to him.

No, he hadn’t been watering the plants because of that promise, he’d been watering them out of pure guilt. However, at the moment, Reita didn’t really care. Because, no matter how Kai had just registered his actions, Reita had seen one of those baby smiles grace Kai’s lips he never thought he would get to see again.

And that smile, that one brilliant, heartwarming smile, proved to Reita that maybe things weren’t completely destroyed between he and Kai.

Proved that, just like Isola-chan, he and Kai had a second chance to re-root the foundation of their relationship and grow once again; together.

“Yeah, Kai,” a slight smile grew across his lips as he bent down next to Kai and brushed some hair out of his face. “I remembered.”

He laid down next to Kai and, without any kind of hesitation, wrapped his arms around him and tucked his face into his neck.

In no time at all, Reita began to feel himself nodding out into a much needed sleep, and he wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not, but right before he felt his slumber completely take over, he swore he felt Kai’s arms wrap around him as well.


A crunching sound Reita wasn’t quite familiar with was what woke him up, and when he opened his eyes and looked to his left, he found Kai sitting up on the edge of his futon, knees curled up to his chest as he snacked away on the chocolate bar Reita had purchased from the hospital’s gift shop.

Groggily, Reita sat up, rubbing his hands down his face and raising a brow at Kai. He still wasn’t exactly sure where they stood, and he knew he and Kai would have to have a proper chat at some point, but first he wanted to make sure Kai was on the path to getting better. Which, based on how he was currently munching down on that chocolate, seemed to be the direction he was going.

“Oy,” Reita shifted his foot, bumping Kai in the lower back with the tips of his toes. “The doctor wrote that you needed to eat a balanced meal. Since when is chocolate for breakfast considered healthy?”

A small chocolate covered pout formed on Kai’s lips as he looked over his shoulder at Reita, and he pointed towards the window. “The sun is down and the moon is out, last time I checked night time meant dessert time. And chocolate is dessert, right?”

As soon as Reita saw that small, victorious baby smile spread across Kai’s lips he knew there was no further arguing with him.

“Whatever you say,” Reita smiled, falling back against the futon and then staring up at the ceiling. He should’ve expected nothing less from Kai. Anything coated in sugar and in his reach was something that would be devoured in seconds no matter Kai’s state of health.

He watched Kai finish off the candy bar, watched him lick his lips and get every last drizzle of chocolate available. Now that Kai was awake and looking much more lively than he had back in the hospital, Reita found himself worrying less and becoming enamored with Kai all over again. Instead of his heart beating with worry, his dick was twitching with desire. After all, Kai’s lips had always been one of his favorite parts about Kai, and Reita was more than aware of what pleasure that tongue could bring.

He closed his eyes and forced himself to look away. These were not the thoughts he needed to be having after Kai had just had a near three day stay in the hospital.

When he opened his eyes again, Kai was facing him, hugging the stuffie Reita had bought him to his chest and just staring with those wide eyes of his. Neither of them said anything for a long while, just simply gazed into one another’s eyes and got lost in the quiet of the moment. It was nice, sharing such a period of serenity with Kai, but Reita knew that it wouldn’t last long. They couldn’t just go back to how things were before their fight, they couldn’t just act as if nothing had happened and continue on from there. Once and for all, they had to talk things through.

Not so surprisingly, Kai was the one to break the silence. “I…I don’t like how things ended between us.” He fidgeted in his spot, leaning side to side while squeezing the hands of the stuffed pig. “I didn’t mean to say what I said. I wanted to take it back as soon as I did, but…I couldn’t. I was really upset and you mentioned Aoi and all this stuff just started going on in my head and-”

Reita sat up and placed a hand over Kai’s knee, squeezing. He could tell by how fast and strewn together Kai’s speech was becoming that he was starting to overwhelm himself, so he wanted to stop things before it all became too intense for Kai.

“Kai, baby…” he tested the detested nickname out on his tongue for the first time since his and Kai’s break up, and he had to hold back a smile when he noted Kai didn’t appear put off in the least bit. “You just spent the last few days in the hospital, I can only imagine how exhausted you are. Why don’t you take a shower and get cleaned up, yeah? I’ll cook you a real meal in the meantime. We can talk after you’ve settled yourself back in and are up to it.”

Kai didn’t even try to argue, he simply sat up and grabbed some clothes before heading out to the bathroom, smiling at Reita over his shoulder as he left the room.


Reita busied himself in the kitchen, getting to work on cooking Kai as hearty of a meal as possible out of the canned food Kai seemed to have a never ending amount of stored away in his cabinets. He would have preferred making Kai a meal with fresh food, but he hadn’t exactly had a chance to go grocery shopping for him due to their break up and the craziness the last few days had to offer.

Once Kai was out of the shower, Reita placed his plate in front of him at the dining table and together they ate in relative silence. There were a few words of exchange, like Reita persistently asking Kai how he was feeling, if he was warm enough or if Reita needed to turn the heat up. But Kai assured Reita that he was fine, just a bit sluggish.

After their plates were cleared away, they made their way back out into the living room where Kai instantly dropped down onto the floor on his stomach, tucking a random couch pillow that had been strewn across the floor under his chin. Looking up at Reita, he pointed down onto the ground next to him and smiled warmly.

“You’re going to sit down for this, right?”

Reita chuckled and took his seat right in front of Kai, sitting criss cross and folding his hands in his lap. “You’re the only guy I know who would willingly take part in a serious talk after being in the hospital for a few days.”

“And you’re the only guy I know who would bother to take care of someone who broke up with him.” Reita’s mouth fell open at Kai’s wise ass remark; Kai giggled. “That’s not a bad thing, Rei-chan~. I’m happy you were there for me. I…I’m not quite sure what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been there, so…thank you.”

Kai’s sincere appreciation should’ve made Reita feel good about himself, but instead it brought on an unbearable amount of guilt. “You shouldn’t be thanking me for anything, Kai. I…I saw how you were after our fight, I should’ve never left you alone after that. I know you told me to get out, but still…I should’ve stayed. I’m sor-”

His apology was cut off with a short peck to his lips. He hadn’t even been aware Kai had pushed himself off the ground, but the feel of Kai’s lips on his was so unmistakable that he knew this couldn’t have been some random day dream.

It was over as soon as it started, and then Kai pulled away from the kiss he giggled once again, bopping Reita on the nose. “Don’t apologize, alright? I told you, I didn’t like how things ended between us. I want to go back to where we were before our fight.”

“Kai,” Reita started softly, sending Kai a sympathetic look. “You know I’d love to go back there as well, but we have to look at the big picture here – even before our fight, our relationship wasn’t exactly stable. There’s too much hidden, too much I don’t know about you. Too much…”

“Rei,” Kai scooted closer, resting his head on Reita’s shoulder and grabbing one of his hands. “I know I messed up. You’ve been nothing but fantastic to me, you deserve to know everything. I-” he paused for a moment, seemingly thinking over his words before starting his sentence over. “Like I said earlier, when you brought up talking to Aoi and mentioned…my ex, it just kind of shocked me.”

Reita could hear how hesitant Kai was to say Ni~ya’s name, and after talking to Hitsugi, he now understood why; he understood how painful it must’ve been to even fathom the thought of thinking of the other after witnessing his brutal death with his very eyes.

“I panicked, and you’ve seen what happens when I panic before…”

Kai trailed off and looked down at his lap, looking ashamed. This was the first time Reita actually witnessed Kai acknowledging the fact that his way of living wasn’t healthy nor of the norm. He hadn’t stated it directly, but Reita could tell from Kai’s body language alone; from his hunched back and fidgety fingers, from the hazy eyes and soft tone, that he was aware his shut in ways set him apart from the rest.

Reita reached out and grabbed Kai’s chin, making him look up at him. He stroked his thumb over the apple of Kai’s cheek and leaned forward to press a kiss to Kai’s forehead. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, baby.” Another kiss, this time to the bridge of Kai’s nose before he pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes and lacing his fingers together with Kai’s. “I understand everything now…”

Kai took a shuddering breath and Reita could feel his lashes brush against his face as he closed his own set. “N-no, you don’t, Rei. I…I’m sorry. I…I should’ve told you everything before. I wanted to tell you but…i-it…it hurts. It hurts to talk about and I…” Pausing, he took a deep breath, and without even having to open his eyes Reita could feel Kai’s tears begin to drip down his face and into his lap. “I’ll tell you one day, I promise. Just, please…give me some more time. I…I need help and…I don’t want to lose you for good like I lost him…”

There was so much Reita wanted to say. He wanted to tell Kai that he already knew. That he already talked to Hitsugi and figured out most of everything. He wanted to tell him that, no matter what, he would always be there for him, that he would always love him. However, at the moment, those kind of words just didn’t seem appropriate. Instead, he wrapped his arms tight around Kai, bringing him into a loving embrace, and pressed a kiss to his ear while rubbing on his back.

“You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried, Kai. I’m not going anywhere.”

Not now.

Not ever.

“And don’t worry,” Reita continued softly, combing his fingers soothingly throughout Kai’s hair, “we’ll work together on getting you the help that you need. Promise…”

Kai tucked his face into Reita’s neck and nodded, his tears still moistening the blond’s skin. And in this moment Reita knew; he knew there was nothing that could tear him and Kai apart.

***

Author's Note: Last chapter felt kind of incomplete in my eyes, so I've made this part two instead of chapter 10 :3 I know, I know, still kind of drawn out and without an actual answers, but still!! Some progress was made, and I can state with mild confidence that I do believe I have finally figured out an ending for this fic...an ending that wasn't the tragic original ending, at least :P I think it was chapter 8 that changed the whole outcome of this entire fic, so sorry! Sometimes writers just don't have control over their own stories! Also, I think this is the fastest I've updated this fic in foooorever, so a big thanks to [livejournal.com profile] leader_kai for kinda pressuring me! lol. Hope you all enjoyed!! <333 Lets see if I can get chapter 10 out before classes begin again! <33
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